Spock
- Ingenious Pilot -
Apparently he's GQ?%\0\%
Posts: 142
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A Flop
Jul 6, 2009 0:29:02 GMT -5
Post by Spock on Jul 6, 2009 0:29:02 GMT -5
There was something Spock wanted to ask, which Jim claimed would not change his opinion of him. He looked at Jim. "What is your opinion of me?"
He thought he knew Jim's opinion of the Spock in his own universe. He also thought Jim's behavior toward himself was indicative of regard for him. He was curious as to how independent these feelings were of each other, and curious as to the ramifications of the latter feeling and its nature and the reasons for it.
It was another thing he did not think he normally would have asked. He had reason to believe the origins of his own curiosity had less to do with scientific inquiry and much more to do with all too human self-image.
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A Flop
Jul 6, 2009 8:58:09 GMT -5
Post by James T. Kirk on Jul 6, 2009 8:58:09 GMT -5
Spock's question was, on one level, entirely surprising. It was surprising considering Kirk's experience with Spock, both this and his own. It confounded what he'd come to expect.
Where it did not surprise him was in Kirk's own speculation about Spock, his conviction that the Vulcan did care what he, Kirk, thought of him, coupled with this particular version's apparent vulnerability. That this vulnerability co-existed with a certain added brittleness wasn't particularly surprising, either. This Spock seemed less comfortable with himself, and consequently less flexible in the superiority both versions projected.
He wanted to answer this accurately, satisfactorily to Spock's logical mind. And put paid to any notion that he saw this Spock as a mere substitute for the one he knew. But he had to be sure of that, himself.
"I think you're an extraordinary young man," he said, working through it even as he spoke. "Which I know both from what you've achieved in your world, and your intelligence and presence of mind in the past day. You play an excellent game of chess. You are, from my observation, a capable officer as well as an agreeable companion." There was a slight pause. "You aren't the man I've served with these past few years. Nor do I think you are 'destined' to become the identical person. Even if I can't help but see this experience--getting to know you--entirely independently of my relationship with your counterpart. Maybe that's my failing, but I do know I'd find you fascinating in your own right, as someone capable of exhibiting the best of both sides of his genetic nature. However painful that may be to you."
He'd been watching Spock obliquely as they walked, as if to give him some measure of privacy, but now he looked over at him and smiled. "In the vernacular, I like you, Mr. Spock. As well as respect you." Kirk neglected to mention the niggling protective feeling he had, as he thought it both vaguely insulting and somewhat unworthy of him.
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Spock
- Ingenious Pilot -
Apparently he's GQ?%\0\%
Posts: 142
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A Flop
Jul 7, 2009 1:09:05 GMT -5
Post by Spock on Jul 7, 2009 1:09:05 GMT -5
((It's way hard to write slowly sobering Spock. ) Spock felt warmed by that reply. Which made it more clear than ever the question had been fueled by his own ego. He had wanted to be judged, whatever judgment that may be; he had wanted to hear himself spoken of. That the captain's opinion happened to be highly favorable made Spock realize he'd been that much more gratuitous. And that Jim gave such an opinion so open and freely made it that much more intrusive. Jim wouldn't see it that way, but to Spock these were highly logical conclusions. In light of said conclusions, and despite the continued effects of the chocolate, Spock exerted his will more firmly to respond without sentiment. But the effort was audible in his voice. "Thank you for your answer. This information is of value to me. As we have agreed to work together a mutual basis of respect will prove useful; therefore it is advantageous one exists." Spock paused. "It would, however, be most illogical if my own genetic nature pained me. It does not."
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A Flop
Jul 7, 2009 9:03:29 GMT -5
Post by James T. Kirk on Jul 7, 2009 9:03:29 GMT -5
((We'll have to compromise Kirk at some point, so you can get even.))
"I'm glad to hear it," Kirk said. He felt warmed by the words "mutual basis of respect," and had to force himself not to demand Spock's own answer to the same question. It would be both frivolous and take unfair advantage of Spock's state. Kirk had little problem with the former, but the latter held him back. He didn't need Spock's further affirmation--he could see it. And he didn't know why it should matter, why the good opinion of any Spock in any universe should be worth so much more than any number of official commendations. Perhaps it was that there were very few situations in which flattery was logical. "It can be difficult to be in such a unique position to the rest of the world. But it can also be an advantage. How are you feeling, Spock?"
The truth was, Kirk didn't believe Spock was reconciled to his heritage. He allowed for the possibility that he was wrong, that this Spock, at least, had achieved a balance Kirk could not see. He also knew that his Spock's protestations about his human side were largely humorous, a game the three of them played by mutual, unspoken consent that would have been shut down instantly should any party have taken actual offense. The fact remained that Kirk explicitly valued the fact that Spock was neither fully human nor fully Vulcan, and that the combination fascinated him, while Spock presented so Vulcan a facade that Kirk privately feared it was overcompensation. And still wanted to go back in time and beat up some really unpleasant Vulcan kids.
He didn't say any of that, though, because from his experience it was not something Spocks talked about unless they were under some strange influence or duress. And Kirk didn't want to exacerbate this one's hangover any more than was necessary.
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Spock
- Ingenious Pilot -
Apparently he's GQ?%\0\%
Posts: 142
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A Flop
Jul 8, 2009 4:27:34 GMT -5
Post by Spock on Jul 8, 2009 4:27:34 GMT -5
"Improved," Spock answered. "The effects of the chocolate are increasingly less difficult to subdue. It would be advisable to check out of the room now, and continue on our journey."
He'd noticed that Kirk hadn't taken them back to the room, but nor had he strayed significantly from the grounds. Spock had allowed himself to be guided, finding it easier in this state, and somehow vaguely comforting, to follow the captains undemanding but decided lead.
"Your solicitousness is also of value," Spock said, struggling for his own decisiveness, "though will probably be unnecessary in a similar capacity in the future. In answer to one of your earlier questions, most substances do not affect Vulcans in such a manner. We are unlikely to encounter the known others in this environment."
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A Flop
Jul 8, 2009 9:23:37 GMT -5
Post by James T. Kirk on Jul 8, 2009 9:23:37 GMT -5
"Good," Kirk said. "We'll do that." He might have asked something like, "are you sure?" but he trusted Spock to be able to make those distinctions for himself. Solicitousness sometimes included taking people at their word. But as they approached the office, Kirk's expression took on a contrite cast.
"I am sorry," he said. "About the chocolate. Mr. Spock never informed me about that particular reaction. I suppose it never came up. But I shouldn't have been quite so demanding."
He'd only wanted to share something he found delightful with Spock. Illogical, yes. Perhaps. The impulse to get a reaction from this Spock was subtly different from the other, he realized. But it was still there. With his Spock, he was seeking... humor. Humanity. That playful side he knew was there, and valued all the more for the discreet peeks he got at it.
With this one, he was seeking happiness. Not for himself, no, and not overwhelming and permanent. But something about him made Kirk want to cheer him up. To introduce him to simple pleasures. To see him lose some of that edginess he seemed to carry with him, even knowing it had nothing to do with him and that he couldn't solve the destruction of a man's entire planet and most of his race with chocolate or chess or an easy smile.
"But apart from my own responsibility, I don't mind being solicitous."
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Spock
- Ingenious Pilot -
Apparently he's GQ?%\0\%
Posts: 142
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A Flop
Jul 8, 2009 16:17:58 GMT -5
Post by Spock on Jul 8, 2009 16:17:58 GMT -5
"It is illogical for you to accept blame in this matter. Since you did not know."
Spock did not think the Kirk of his universe would ascribe himself any blame. He still was not sure whether that was a result of an unwillingness to take responsibility for his actions, or an awareness of the uselessness of regret. That Kirk, however, might not have wanted to share in the first place.
"I am aware that the desire to have others partake in a thing which one enjoys one's self arises out of an impulse to be generous."
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A Flop
Jul 8, 2009 16:31:31 GMT -5
Post by James T. Kirk on Jul 8, 2009 16:31:31 GMT -5
What Kirk would have regretted was the loss of Spock's trust in him, and since that didn't seem to be the case, the guilt was jettisoned. Some of it, after all, had been due to the tenuous nature of their relationship, the newness of it, the knowledge that this wasn't his Spock. Some appearances and instincts to the contrary. He didn't know, exactly, where he stood, and while he was good at making those sort of judgments the fact remained that they were complicated by his consciousness of the difference between Spocks.
He decided he should probably just go with his gut, as usual. So he grinned.
"I've a very generous nature," he agreed. "The results aren't usually so potent, however." Well, that was arguable, he supposed. They'd reached the office, and he fished the key out of his waistband. He'd never figured out why Starfleet trousers had no pockets. "I'll just drop this off, and we'll be on our way."
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Spock
- Ingenious Pilot -
Apparently he's GQ?%\0\%
Posts: 142
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A Flop
Jul 8, 2009 18:22:21 GMT -5
Post by Spock on Jul 8, 2009 18:22:21 GMT -5
((I was just thinking about the pocketlessness last night! I can't remember why, but I was thinking Kirk needed to carry something and he could just put it in his pocket and then realized he couldn't. But of course we know the reason why. THEY NEEDED SHATNER'S PELVIC AREA TO BE AS CLEARLY DELINEATED AS POSSIBLE.))
They returned the key, and resumed walking.
Spock didn't say anything. He had spoken more than he would have chosen to otherwise if not under the influence. With the effects fading and the headache starting behind his eyes, he felt no need to speak.
This put the burden of making conversation on Kirk, but it did not occur Spock to behave otherwise. If Kirk felt the need to make inquiries, Spock had already told him the day before he would endeavor to answer them. If Kirk felt the need to make small talk, it seemed only logical the task should fall to him. Spock had never been an idle conversationalist. Their current plan of action, their plan for their day, and contingency plans for the future had been decided upon.
So instead Spock concentrated on bringing order to his mind, and flushing the effects of the chocolate from his system.
((...I'm so sorry. I dunno! He's still got nothin'!))
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A Flop
Jul 8, 2009 18:30:14 GMT -5
Post by James T. Kirk on Jul 8, 2009 18:30:14 GMT -5
(("GUYS, THIS REALLY RUINS THE LINE OF MY HIP, DON'T YOU THINK? WILL THEY REALLY NEED POCKETS IN THE FUTURE?" Now I feel the need to write bitchy!wardrobe Shatner. "THIS GREEN IS NOT THE COLOR OF MY EYES. I DO NOT APPROVE. OH YOU SAY THE LIGHTS WILL MAKE IT GOLDEN? OKAYTHEN."))
Kirk liked to talk. He liked to talk to Spock. But he was not unaware of many of the factors Spock was even now taking into account, and he knew there might be a headache and some need to collect himself involved. So he resolved to leave him alone, for now. They had some walking to do, and Kirk had no need to carry on a constant stream of chatter just to hear himself talk.
Well, not all the time.
So he thought, instead, about Spock, and the other Spock, and about the other Kirk and questions he had that he knew he was going to ask at some point. Just not now. It wasn't entirely vanity, to want to know what this young version of him was like, to know this Spock's opinion of him. To want to know how he measured up probably was. But some of it, he was sure, was merely natural curiosity.
What had changed? Spock had lost his mother. His planet. What would have changed him?
At some point--perhaps half an hour, perhaps more--he frowned at the scenery. Mostly half-dilapidated row houses.
"I could be wrong," he said, halting. "But I think we've passed this way before. And we haven't turned."
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Spock
- Ingenious Pilot -
Apparently he's GQ?%\0\%
Posts: 142
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A Flop
Jul 10, 2009 10:45:45 GMT -5
Post by Spock on Jul 10, 2009 10:45:45 GMT -5
Spock stopped with him. "These houses do bear remarkable similarity to houses we have passed before. They could be very convincing copies--but to what purpose?"
Spock did not ask for theories or suggestions for what they should do, figuring the captain was also thinking through this conundrum and would state his thoughts--or his plan--imminently.
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A Flop
Jul 10, 2009 11:08:12 GMT -5
Post by James T. Kirk on Jul 10, 2009 11:08:12 GMT -5
Kirk was not an unobservant man. And he thought it fairly unlikely that he'd mistake the houses--or their relative location.
"We should have left the city by now. I thought so yesterday." He had no evidence to back up the thought forming in his mind. But his hunches had a pretty good track record. "I mentioned before that Lorien's existence in this world seems to be somewhat tenuous, depending on who's looking. And we've discussed the possibility that this dimension--or whatever we want to call this--has been set up consciously as some form of experiment. I think it would be prudent to keep in mind that our own movements may not be under our control. That is to say, that the geography may not be consistent."
He glanced in both directions down the street, noting that while not identical, the area looked equally dense on both sides. And they'd been headed due west all morning.
"Still," he said, "I propose we keep moving in the same direction. It's only a hunch."
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Spock
- Ingenious Pilot -
Apparently he's GQ?%\0\%
Posts: 142
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A Flop
Jul 10, 2009 17:40:41 GMT -5
Post by Spock on Jul 10, 2009 17:40:41 GMT -5
Spock nodded. "It seems we must continue with our original plan. Meanwhile, we can attempt to observe our own direction. The sun does not indicate we have turned, however its relative positioning does not seem to reflect the distance we have traveled. The only theory I can offer that fits these facts is that we are traveling through a kind of simulation."
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A Flop
Jul 11, 2009 11:29:43 GMT -5
Post by James T. Kirk on Jul 11, 2009 11:29:43 GMT -5
Kirk nodded.
"Not an altogether comforting thought," he said. "But as you say, we don't seem to have any alternative but to go along, for now."
He wondered what the purpose of it all was. If it was some sort of elaborate experiment, what accounted for their presence, specifically? And in this configuration? There was a danger in second-guessing their every motive or behavior, but Kirk didn't feel controlled. Nor did he think Spock was being manipulated, other than by the environment itself. They continued walking, looking more carefully now at their surroundings lest they miss some clue.
"If I'm right," he said at length, "and I don't particularly want to be, we won't be 'allowed' to leave the city. And if that's the case, we'll need to decide soon to quit and find a job, if we're going to earn enough money to stay someplace indoors."
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Spock
- Ingenious Pilot -
Apparently he's GQ?%\0\%
Posts: 142
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A Flop
Jul 12, 2009 16:02:36 GMT -5
Post by Spock on Jul 12, 2009 16:02:36 GMT -5
Spock thought for a minute. "Perhaps we should combine our plans. Let us continue to move forward, while periodically stopping to make inquiries. If we find something that looks promising, and are unable to leave by this afternoon, we can return and begin work to earn enough for this night's lodging. If that turns out to be our course of action we can look for more long-term employment tomorrow.
I must also submit that we inquire of the locals what they know of leaving the city. Thus far they have been unhelpful, but I am curious as to what they will say."
((...I wonder if Spock will need to get a beanie.))
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