|
A Flop
Jun 28, 2009 21:27:25 GMT -5
Post by James T. Kirk on Jun 28, 2009 21:27:25 GMT -5
Kirk's eyes widened as he listened to this torrent, for lack of a better word. "Puffy hands" was incongruous enough--Spock unable to complete a word, a thought? Unthinkable. Then his eyebrows rose.
"Yes, there was," he said. He noted the deliberate way Spock was staring at the dish. The repetitive phrasing. "Are you drunk, Spock?" His tone warred between incredulity and amusement, which meant it sort of defaulted to captainly. A request for information which was not to be dodged.
|
|
Spock
- Ingenious Pilot -
Apparently he's GQ?%\0\%
Posts: 142
|
A Flop
Jun 28, 2009 22:20:45 GMT -5
Post by Spock on Jun 28, 2009 22:20:45 GMT -5
Spock stared at the dish.
"Yes, sir."
It was very matter-of-fact, an instinctive reply to Kirk's tone. Kirk's tone which made him feel even more ashamed, not because there was anything condemning in it, but because it reminded him of the position he held, who he was, and what he should be doing. He no longer felt 'very well'. But it was hard to focus in order to feel better.
Spock stared at the dish some more.
|
|
|
A Flop
Jun 29, 2009 14:21:24 GMT -5
Post by James T. Kirk on Jun 29, 2009 14:21:24 GMT -5
Though it had been instinct, as well as a legitimate need to know, Kirk felt bad if he'd led Spock to abandon the more cheerful tone he'd managed earlier.
"Spock," he said softly, trying to urge the man's gaze up with nothing but his voice. "You don't need to call me 'sir.' You haven't done anything wrong. I gave you the chocolate, remember? I practically forced you to try it, thinking you'd enjoy it. And you did, didn't you? No shame in that." He smiled, because he wanted to put Spock at ease, though he was also fairly amused by the thought of Spock drunk on chocolate and part of him hoped he could get the other Spock to partake, if only because he'd feel less conflicted about messing with him.
|
|
Spock
- Ingenious Pilot -
Apparently he's GQ?%\0\%
Posts: 142
|
A Flop
Jun 29, 2009 16:20:23 GMT -5
Post by Spock on Jun 29, 2009 16:20:23 GMT -5
((Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! I still suck at RP.))
"I am not ashamed."
Of course, he was. He was ashamed about everything he felt. Because what he felt was not supposed to affect him this way.
Jim looking at him like that was not supposed to affect him this way.
Earlier Spock had mentioned violence, and its effect on diversity. There was a point at which he'd no longer been talking about Jim or demons at all.
He'd told Captain Kirk--the other Captain Kirk--he didn't want to offer the Romulan peace.
He'd tried to kill that captain.
"I have just lied," Spock confided.
((OMG he's a morose melodramatic drunk.))
|
|
|
A Flop
Jun 29, 2009 22:19:48 GMT -5
Post by James T. Kirk on Jun 29, 2009 22:19:48 GMT -5
((No, you don't. I don't mean to invalidate your feelings, but it doesn't feel that way over here. And man, is Kirk wishing he'd just gone along with it and not said anything. I'm not sure I'm doing this right, now.))
Kirk wasn't going to say anything. He knew Spock was lying, that he was ashamed. It was written in every tense line of him, though very little had changed outwardly. But it wouldn't help to push him into admitting it. Not like this, though Kirk was not above attempting to get at Spock's humanity from time to time.
But Vulcans didn't lie, or at least they seemed to have a categoric rejection of their ability to do so, and therefore Spock must be feeling something fairly potent. Not to mention his admission to a decidedly illogical feeling. He couldn't know what Spock as feeling or thinking but he did wish he could put him at east.
Kirk also wished he'd maintained the conversation in some area where Spock's illogic had been a little less depressing.
"That's all right," Kirk assured him. "Here, drink some water." He pushed his own glass over, seeing little left in Spock's. "We'll go outside when you're ready. Some fresh air will do you good, and then we'll go back to the motel. You won't believe it, but when I was at the Academy I had a reputation for seriousness. It got to be something of a sport to try to get me to cut loose in the student-honored tradition. Do you know, when I finally did, I was so worried about what people were thinking that I'm sure I ended up looking even more serious than ever. That's not meant as a lesson or anything; I only mean to say that we all find ourselves in ridiculous situations sometimes. Most of the time our true friends are pretty forgiving."
He hoped Spock would forgive him, after all.
|
|
Spock
- Ingenious Pilot -
Apparently he's GQ?%\0\%
Posts: 142
|
A Flop
Jun 30, 2009 0:52:20 GMT -5
Post by Spock on Jun 30, 2009 0:52:20 GMT -5
((Thanks. It's just, I realized I wish I'd done a few of the last narrative bits differently. I know what Spock is thinking and where he's coming from, just not which bits to show and hide, as I've said. I don't mean to invalidate your feelings, but I think you're great. Your Kirk always makes me all melty for him. Well. Kirk in general makes me melty for Kirk. But that means you're doing him right! Hee. You're doing him.))
Ridiculous. Forgiving. Spock wondered if Jim meant forgiving him this. But he was talking about true friends, which meant the other Spock. Maybe Jim was just being decent.
Jim was very decent. Spock had noticed that. Like Pike, actually, very kind. And warm. And--approving.
Sarek was never at all like that.
Spock drank the water. He drank all of it. "Thank you. The bill must be paid. I would like to go outside, as you sugg--" Spock was trying to stand up. The room was spinning. He put a hand on the table to steady himself. "Suggested."
Spock looked down at Jim. Captain Pike's eyes didn't do that, and his mouth didn't look like that, and he didn't look at waiters or plates of pancakes like that, and Pike wasn't as humorous, or as clever and confident. When Captain Pike smiled, it was nothing like when Jim did.
"It is--hard to imagine you as too serious, Jim."
|
|
|
A Flop
Jun 30, 2009 16:14:08 GMT -5
Post by James T. Kirk on Jun 30, 2009 16:14:08 GMT -5
((Aww, thanks. I appreciate that. Also omg Kirk>Pike. YUS. Though nuPike is sort of awesome. Though he never played Jesus Christ, to my knowledge.))
As Spock stood--just barely--Jim threw some money on the table and rose, moving smoothly to Spock's side. "I got better," he said, laughter in his eyes and the quirk of his mouth but remaining politely restrained, for Spock's sake. He doubted Spock would take his arm, if offered. He did not doubt that, should Spock stumble or otherwise require assistance, Kirk would be the closest thing and thus grabbing onto him would be only... logical. "Bill's taken care of. C'mon."
He started slowly towards the door, an eye out for Spock. "I wanted so desperately to be worthy of Starfleet," he said. "It wasn't that I didn't know how to have fun, but I think I forgot for awhile, as classes and responsibilities piled up. Took me a bit to get that balance back."
|
|
Spock
- Ingenious Pilot -
Apparently he's GQ?%\0\%
Posts: 142
|
A Flop
Jun 30, 2009 17:09:39 GMT -5
Post by Spock on Jun 30, 2009 17:09:39 GMT -5
Spock walked carefully beside Jim and did not look at him. "I think you are worthy of Starfleet."
It was utterly irrational. Spock had seen the other Captain Kirk command a Starfleet vessel, and even though that Kirk had displayed many promising qualities, luck had been so involved that it would be impossible to make a solid judgment on that Kirk's worthiness. But Spock hadn't even seen that much of this Jim. He had had opportunity to ascertain that Jim was friendly, insightful, clever, strategic over chess, but he had never even observed this Jim aboard a starship, much less in command.
In a hazy part of his brain Spock was well aware of all this. But he still thought Jim was worthy.
No. It wasn't quite that. He felt Jim was worthy.
This was what was called a hunch. Instinct. Emotion.
Spock tripped, and reached out. Jim was there to steady him.
"I am not lacking in gravitas," Spock informed him. "I do not need a beard."
((ha ha ha. I've been waiting ever since they were talking about Mirrorverse for a chance to make Spock to say that.))
|
|
|
A Flop
Jun 30, 2009 17:22:10 GMT -5
Post by James T. Kirk on Jun 30, 2009 17:22:10 GMT -5
((I'm so glad you had the opportunity.))
"No," Kirk said soberly, because if he laughed now it might prove difficult to stop. "There is such a thing as too much gravitas." He paused a moment, to let Spock get his bearings as much as possible before they continued. He wondered why the man's faith in him was so touching. It was Spock. Kirk knew the value of that faith. Maybe that was it. Or the fact that this Spock hardly knew him, hadn't seen him in action, had been made drunk by him. Maybe he was interpolating from the other Kirk. The young one, who had done so much in so much less time than he had. He wasn't sure how he felt about that. He knew he was worthy of Starfleet. He knew it was reasonable for Spock to think so, too. But did he want Spock's borrowed confidence?
It didn't matter, he realized. All that mattered was that he live up to it, and that he was planning on doing anyway. Spock's hand was very warm, even through his sleeve. Kirk knew this was normal. Spock--any Spock--touching him was less so. He started back down the street towards the motel. They hadn't technically checked out, and they had until 11 to do so. The might as well use the room, if Spock needed some time to collect himself.
|
|
Spock
- Ingenious Pilot -
Apparently he's GQ?%\0\%
Posts: 142
|
A Flop
Jun 30, 2009 19:26:32 GMT -5
Post by Spock on Jun 30, 2009 19:26:32 GMT -5
Spock was trying very hard to keep close control of his thoughts and his feet. Another two steps, and he could let go of Jim, walk on his own.
It was like holding onto too many things at once; something would slip from his grasp, he tried to pick it up, and would let go of something else. It didn't make sense to let go of Jim.
Right now he was concentrating on rationality. That meant not thinking about Jim's arm, or the friendliness he felt toward Jim, or the other Captain Kirk for that matter, or trying to choke him, or trying to kill Romulans, or Vulcan, or Mother.
Somewhere in there Spock dropped a thread, and the question slipped out, "In your universe, have you ever heard of a Vulcan named Sarek?"
|
|
|
A Flop
Jun 30, 2009 21:30:17 GMT -5
Post by James T. Kirk on Jun 30, 2009 21:30:17 GMT -5
Kirk's eyebrows rose, but his tone, when he replied, was warm and even. He hoped Spock would not hate him in the figurative morning for witnessing what he was.
"I have met him," he said, implying, of course, that he knew their relationship. "Why do you ask?" Was Sarek alive in Spock's universe? Had their relationship suffered the same strain? It had to have, if Spock was in Starfleet.
|
|
Spock
- Ingenious Pilot -
Apparently he's GQ?%\0\%
Posts: 142
|
A Flop
Jun 30, 2009 22:21:04 GMT -5
Post by Spock on Jun 30, 2009 22:21:04 GMT -5
Spock could walk on his own. He took his hand away. He did not look at Jim.
He already knew he should not ask these questions. The effect of the chocolate was bound to wear off soon, and he knew he would never ask otherwise. There was no reason to, and the answers were bound to stir up unwanted emotion.
He wanted it anyway.
"You have met him," he repeated unnecessarily. "Then you have met his wife. They are not frequently parted. When was it? Was she . . . well?"
|
|
|
A Flop
Jul 1, 2009 6:38:46 GMT -5
Post by James T. Kirk on Jul 1, 2009 6:38:46 GMT -5
Kirk's arm felt cold where Spock's hand had been. What had happened? But Spock's words, innocent as they were, sparked something. It wasn't Sarek who had died. It had been Amanda. Spock was wallowing, for lack of a better word and in a quiet, Vulcan fashion. But he was wallowing, and he'd be shamed later, and yet Kirk could not help but answer. Because Spock needed to be able to ask these questions, needed to be answered when he asked.
"She was very well just a few months ago," he said quietly. "She and the ambassador were our guests on their way to a peace conference. I think she relished the opportunity to see where you--where Spock had made a life for himself." He smiled at the memory. Not all of it, but enough. "I liked her."
He was watching Spock, his head tilted as they walked slowly. "I'm sorry, Spock."
|
|
Spock
- Ingenious Pilot -
Apparently he's GQ?%\0\%
Posts: 142
|
A Flop
Jul 1, 2009 13:41:22 GMT -5
Post by Spock on Jul 1, 2009 13:41:22 GMT -5
There was no reason it should be, but for some reason, the idea that in some universe somewhere, his mother was with his father, alive and well and proud of him as she always said she would be, was comforting. There was sadness there, and bitterness too, but somehow he did not feel the turmoil he had anticipated. Perhaps it was Jim's words too, which were comforting. He would still be ashamed of asking, later, but still be glad he had.
When he'd latched on that subject, the other thoughts he'd been holding to himself scattered, and now he found himself surprisingly free of thought. His head felt dull and heavy, and he knew that soon an ache would begin. For now there was peace in just walking, remaining silent, being beside Jim.
((Sorry I got nothin'; wallow wallow wallow))
|
|
|
A Flop
Jul 5, 2009 6:54:19 GMT -5
Post by James T. Kirk on Jul 5, 2009 6:54:19 GMT -5
((http://www.roflcat.com/images/cats/emo.jpg))
They walked in silence for some minutes, Kirk mutely guiding them not to the motel room, but in a circuit around the area. He didn't think there was anything to be gained, just yet, by shutting the now maudlin Spock into a dark room. Later, he'd ask if he wished to meditate or gather his thoughts or whatever, but for now Kirk thought nothing so valuable as air and exercise. After a moment's hesitation, he pressed a hand to Spock's shoulder, quick and light but solid. He let go before it could be considered to linger.
"If there's ever anything you want to ask me, Spock, you can," he said. "Now or later. Nothing will change my opinion of you, and I think it's important that you know that."
Even if he wouldn't really understand it.
|
|