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Post by Shadi on Apr 13, 2009 15:55:03 GMT -5
He wanted her. He still wanted her.
She thought perhaps she should resent that, that it was too early, but she didn't feel that way. She was hardly the type to welcome any interest at all, for all her loose morality, but she was likewise incapable of denying Rochester anything.
Or rather, incapable of wanting to deny him anything.
Disheveled, her towel inching down and coming apart at the open seam, she kissed him heartily, on the edge of desperately, wishing she could have taken the past months back and knowing she never could but hoping anyway that Rochester would let her try. Her hands clutched at his lapels, as if sensing his hesitation and afraid to lose him.
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Post by Rochester on Apr 13, 2009 16:20:51 GMT -5
*Her eagerness was clear enough, and if she'd but taken the time, it was obvious that he was not unaffected. But it also informed Rochester of something else. Sex, at least the sort of intimacy that they would undoubtedly engage in on this particular path, would cheapen this feeling. And it was too new. He wanted to understand it. To explore it, on his own terms. He leaned back, lashes fluttering as he drew in his breath.*
"Shadi...we shouldn't." *He whispered, eyes not meeting hers.* "Not now. Not like this." *It pained him to say it, his body still crying out to have her.*
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Post by Shadi on Apr 13, 2009 16:38:33 GMT -5
"Why not?"
She tried to keep the hurt from her voice as she drew back, to search his face.
"Is it because... because he..." She grimaced. "It didn't mean anything. I thought... I didn't know about you. I didn't know..."
She'd been drunk and miserable and only searching for a way to hurt herself. Well, she had.
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Post by Rochester on Apr 15, 2009 16:17:10 GMT -5
"Shh..." *Rochester took her shoulders gently as he tried to soothe her with a small smile and a shake of his head.*
"No...not that." Well mostly not that.
*He swallowed carefully.*
"It's merely...I...feel..." *He shut his eyes in frustration, unable to explain it fully.*
"I just think...it might be better if we..." *His lips tightened, his trousers uncomfortable.*
"...hold off for a little while."
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Post by Shadi on Apr 15, 2009 16:24:02 GMT -5
Shadi blinked with comical slowness, as if in between the time it took for her lids to lower and rise again, Rochester would resolve into some completely different person. He had to be, after all. "Okay," she said, because honestly his kiss had been a surprise, she hadn't been hoping for forgiveness, let alone anything more. "But... why?" Did she disgust him? Was he not sure about her? What was he waiting for? (( Brandi, you should read this))
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Post by Rochester on Apr 15, 2009 17:01:46 GMT -5
((I'm on it.))
*One hand moved to her cheek, cradling it softly, his eyes fixed on hers.*
"Shadi...I've never felt...like this before." *He admitted sheepishly.*
"I only want to understand whatever this is, before I go and muck it up again."
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Post by Shadi on Apr 15, 2009 17:03:50 GMT -5
"Oh!" Shadi said, and her eyes filled with tears again even as her heart skittered oddly in her chest. "Oh, Rochester, you didn't do anything. You didn't muck things up. That was me. Don't you dare blame yourself for that."
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Post by Rochester on Apr 15, 2009 17:26:45 GMT -5
((Dude.))
*His brow lowered slightly.*
"Hardly means that I can't make things worse, now does it." *His lips tightened for a moment.*
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Post by Shadi on Apr 15, 2009 17:31:04 GMT -5
Shadi gazed at him in dismay. She'd broken him. She was realizing that now, and it was sinking in with a sickening feeling in her gut.
"Don't think that way," she said, swallowing. "You just... be Rochester." If she sounded demanding, it was the demand of one close to panic. "And I'll... I'll fix it."
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Post by Rochester on Apr 16, 2009 8:56:41 GMT -5
*Her tone surprised him, reading in his raised brows as he leaned back slightly.*
"Be me?" *He echoed, quiet for a moment, but after a breath, the corner of his mouth started to rise, the dimple beginning to show.*
"But darling, how can I be anyone else?" *There was the faint touch of his old self in there, though the statement was heavy with meaning.*
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Post by Shadi on Apr 16, 2009 12:18:25 GMT -5
She couldn't help but smile, mollified somewhat by his manner, though still worried. That was just the problem, though, wasn't it? That was what she'd been afraid of. That he'd become someone else, and not even know it.
"Sure," she said. "I just never wanted... Rochester, I'm so scared I've... I've ruined... something."
She meant "you," but she seemed somehow unable to say it. It seemed so presumptuous.
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Post by Rochester on Apr 16, 2009 18:14:15 GMT -5
*There was a small twitch in his cheek, the thought stabbing for a moment, but he tried his hardest to keep it at bay.*
"Hush now. Don't you fret, darling."
*He brushed her hair back gently, his lips tightening and holding back any other words.*
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Post by Shadi on Apr 16, 2009 19:44:37 GMT -5
She nodded, trying to appease him however she might. She was so afraid of making another wrong step, and watching him carefully for some clue.
"All right," she said. "What should I do?" She asked the question almost playfully.
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Post by Rochester on Apr 17, 2009 19:56:15 GMT -5
*Rochester moved to answer, but he said nothing, mouth open in silence for a moment. Then he shut his lips and leaned to kiss her forehead.*
"I...I'm not sure just yet, I'm afraid." *He confessed. His eyes fell to hers.*
"I suppose that depends...on what you're feeling."
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Post by Shadi on Apr 19, 2009 2:49:50 GMT -5
"I feel like killing my father and Valmont," she said easily. "Probably in that order, but I'm flexible. Then I feel like getting together anything I might need... and not going anywhere you're not, for as long as you'll have me."
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