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Post by Rochester on Feb 28, 2009 9:27:42 GMT -5
*Rochester chuckled softly.*
"Yes, I suppose you would have." *He mussed, but then offered a small shrug.*
"But then again, I rather thought that was your way of telling me." *Emotion was starting to creep into his voice and he lowered his face, as if it would force it back.*
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Post by Shadi on Mar 2, 2009 12:53:51 GMT -5
Shadi's face crumpled even further.
"Then I didn't write it well," she said. "I'm not a coward, Rochester. Whatever else I am... I'd have told you. But I can't imagine that... I can't imagine not..."
She swallowed.
"I hurt you so much," she said, her voice a hoarse whisper. "How can I ever make it right?"
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Post by Rochester on Mar 4, 2009 13:02:31 GMT -5
*Rochester's lips tightened for a moment and he busied himself in pouring her some tea. Handing her the cup, it became apparent that his hands was shaking a little, the porcelain rattling.*
"Well...I suppose..." *He swallowed carefully, unable to lift his eyes to hers.*
"That depends on what you want from this. From me." *He whispered honestly.*
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Post by Shadi on Mar 4, 2009 13:24:27 GMT -5
Shadi took the cup, more to stop it from rattling than because she wanted tea right now. She ended up putting it down, fearing her hands were no steadier. She watched him unable to look at her and felt such a tender feeling inside as she'd never known. Suddenly she wanted nothing more, or less, than to make him better. To release him from... from whatever was tormenting him. She'd tried removing herself from her life, and that had obviously not worked.
But she didn't know what he wanted from her.
"I want..." Her voice failed her, and she swallowed. "I want you to be happy."
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Post by Rochester on Mar 7, 2009 7:17:58 GMT -5
*Rochester was quiet, but his eyes lifted softly to her face. Swallowing slowly, the words hung about his lips for a moment or two before escaping them.*
"My happiness..." *He whispered, as if he hadn't considered it up until this point.*
"But that is something intertwined with yours, I'm afraid."
*He took a step closer, his hand lifting to brush her hair back gently.*
"Shadi...I am happy when I'm with you. When you smile, watching you sleep contentedly. But I do not wish to obligate you to somewhere you don't wish to stay."
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Post by Shadi on Mar 9, 2009 12:55:21 GMT -5
Shadi shook her head fiercely, her skin tinged red.
"No, I don't... I mean, I didn't... feel obligated." She frowned. "Maybe I should, after everything you've done for me, but... Not like that. I only wanted your freedom. Not mine."
It wasn't exactly true, in the sense that Shadi did value her freedom. It was just that she hadn't felt trapped with Rochester.
"But I don't see how you can trust me again. Ever."
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Post by Rochester on Mar 11, 2009 7:15:11 GMT -5
*Rochester sighed, offering a gentle shrug.*
"I have learned, as of late, that nothing is ever certain."
*His eyes found hers and softened.*
"But now, this very moment, is the happiest I've had since you've left. So I've decided not to focus too much on what will come and just savor what I have."
*He bent slightly, his lips near her ears as he whispered.*
"Here. With you." *He hovered there for a long moment before turning his head so his lips grazed her cheek shyly.*
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Post by Shadi on Mar 11, 2009 12:55:20 GMT -5
She trembled as his lips brushed her skin, and it made her want to cry. She hated crying, it smacked of weakness, and she hated feeling weak. The delightful excitement that resided in the pit of her stomach whenever he was around was familiar, but now it was rounded about with a huge knot of indecision and guilt.
She'd made things worse, Shadi realized. She'd wanted to give him freedom from her, from his dependence on her, and she'd only drawn him closer by running away. She'd made herself necessary, when all she'd wanted was to never have the opportunity to hurt him as she knew she must. Maybe if Valmont hadn't intervened, she thought, he'd have recovered. Now it was too late.
And all she'd really wanted to do was love him properly.
Without a word, she flung herself into his arms, burying her face against his chest as she fought back sobs.
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Post by Rochester on Mar 15, 2009 7:23:17 GMT -5
*Rochester blinked in surprise at the sudden gesture, but easily slipped his arms around her, holding her comfortingly. He stroked her hair softly, pressing his lips to the top of her head. How had he let this happen? His darling Shadi...so fragile. He worried instinctively, wanting to scoop her up in his arms and carry her to the safety of his bed. But there was something that held him back. He did what he could to assure himself that it was only the need to not mess things up between them, delicate as they were. But his embrace was confident. He'd protect her, no matter what she needed.*
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Post by Shadi on Mar 16, 2009 12:12:37 GMT -5
She didn't deserve this. And she'd thought herself strong enough not to need it. But it felt so good, his arms around her, his heat seeping through the towel.
"I'm sorry," she murmured, a few tears leaking out but not the headlong sobs other girls might have given into. "I'm so sorry, Rochester. Please believe me. Help me... don't let me hurt you again."
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Post by Rochester on Mar 23, 2009 7:43:56 GMT -5
*Rochester was overwhelmed. He needed her, plain and simple. And though he'd promised himself, and her, that they would take their time, he felt the sudden need to be close to her. To express himself.*
"Shh." *He soothed softly, kissing her forehead before lifting her chin with delicate fingers. His lips met hers tenderly, questioningly. He needed her to understand that he was always there for her. And he needed her there for him.*
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Post by Shadi on Mar 23, 2009 11:35:49 GMT -5
Shadi's eyes opened wide, but her mouth recalled him and responded without surprise. She had countless good intentions, but the fact that she wasn't sure what exactly they were made it difficult to stand by them. He was so inviting, so open, and she thought perhaps she'd loved him from the instant they'd met. However nonsensical that seemed.
So she kissed him back, without hesitation or holding anything back, though she did not push him, either. One hand crept to his lapel, clutching it lightly as the other held her towel in place.
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Post by Rochester on Apr 12, 2009 9:07:25 GMT -5
*If only he could be lost forever in her. Perhaps he already was. But Rochester was in no position to complain. He needed this like nothing he'd known before. It pushed away every thought, every bitter inkling he'd had as of late. There was only the smell of her hair and the taste of her lips. He pulled her closer, his arms wrapping tightly about her and crushing her against him. Almost as if he could fuse them into one being, if only they were close enough. It was, perhaps, a sexual sort of thing, but it was some much more. Deeper. Was this love? Truly? The pain, the desire... the need? If he had the words to express the thought, they were lost as his breath shortened against the softness of her mouth.*
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Post by Shadi on Apr 13, 2009 12:55:18 GMT -5
Shadi gasped against him, her grip on the towel loosening. Had anyone ever kissed her like this? Anyone else, that is. Had Rochester ever kissed anyone else this way? She didn't care, not really, not like that, but at the same time... didn't it seem a shame to deny this, to deny him this, if it really was Something Else? Had it been wrong of her to try to make that decision for him? He was not Valmont, after all. He had a heart, a soul. He could make his own decisions.
As could she, of course, but maybe, just maybe, she was done making decisions for other people.
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Post by Rochester on Apr 13, 2009 15:40:43 GMT -5
((Maybe. )) *There was a seed planted by her response, that tiniest of hopes that she felt the same way. Or at least that she could, given time. He dipped, pressing his arm gently behind her knees and sweeping her up, towel and all into his arms. Without a word (though his lips remain occupied) he carried her into her room and laid her gently on her bed. But as he sat back to look at her, something softened. It wasn't about sex. It was...deeper. Different. There was a hesitation that hung about him as he leaned back to kiss her softly.*
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