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Post by Jeremy on Mar 12, 2008 9:49:30 GMT -5
*He snickers and picks up his glass again.*
"Hell if I know... I'm a big fan of low drama, low maintenance... which means I'm in the wrong place for the most part."
*Taking a good swig of bourbon Jeremy looks up.*
"That mean you've decided on a gender to pursue? Cause I have no advice on how to attract a man.... other than scary old guys that creep even me out."
*With a slight shudder he shakes off the thought.*
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Post by Emily on Mar 12, 2008 9:52:48 GMT -5
"Eeeeeew. Well, like I said, the idea of gay sexing doesn't seem particularily comfortable, so I might have to put my personal attractions to one side and experiment with girls."
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Post by Jeremy on Mar 12, 2008 10:03:13 GMT -5
*He nods and chuckles briefly.*
"Uncomfortable... like the back seat of a volkswagen."
*Grinning at his own pop reference his eyes linger on Emile.*
"Can't say I blame you. I've come to the conclusion that women are insane and men are either assholes or stupid. Just a matter of finding little slices of crazy you can deal with. Hmmm...."
*As he sat there pondering and sipping his bourbon the icons faces of many of the 'verses women flashed through his head.*
"Not sure what my suggestion would be... other than to find some time to familiarize yourself with all the anatomy. From the opposite angle that is."
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Post by Emily on Mar 12, 2008 10:08:18 GMT -5
"God, that'll be weird. I think I'd grab a boob and half expect to feel like I should be the one being grabbed."
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Post by Jeremy on Mar 12, 2008 10:18:19 GMT -5
*He stared at a knothole in the counter top. All this raised a lot of mental images that he wasn't sure how to react to. Damn overactive imagination. Shaking his head Jeremy grins.*
"I've always thought that if you can't laugh in bed with someone you probably shouldn't be there with them. The first time with a new partner should be a bumbling, goofy, sweaty, giggle filled event. 'Cause it's going to suck on the grand scheme of the X scale. If you can't enjoy it in some way why the hell would you try again?"
*Draining the last of his glass, Jeremy makes himself another bourbon and coke, omitting the coke. And the ice.*
"We just need to find you someone who 1) understands the situation, 2) doesn't mind being a little instructive and 3) won't hold any first timerness against you. A... practice partner."
*This definitely wasn't a conversation two guys had. Then again Jeremy never had all that many normal guy talk filled conversations. But he was enjoying himself... and the bourbon.*
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Post by Emily on Mar 12, 2008 10:23:09 GMT -5
*Emile had never held his drink well, and leaned his chin heavily on his fist, holding his head up.*
"Sho who'd you have in mind?" *he asked.* "Mebbe 'nuther insert. Sarah or Mira or Brandi or Kris. Kris is a robot. Maybe she'd feel more detachment about the whole thing."
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Post by Jeremy on Mar 12, 2008 10:33:12 GMT -5
"Well... I interact with Brandi, Kris and you most often... so my vote would be either of them. Though they have some heavy plot tossed into their lap right now. And that's if the thought of insert bumping isn't too strange. We can't all do it as well as some."
*He adds a wink before topping off Emile's glass as well.*
"Kris' Alex might be a good choice... gender confusion and all. Since I thought of her after seeing her flash by on the 10 latest posts. Other than that... all I can offer is advice and to maybe put one of my stable of characters through the same thing that happened to you. Though I'm not sure which would be the right choice... not to mention I don't want to steal your gender swap thunder make light of your situation...."
*Jeremy goes through the check list in his head... well.. mostly. A few words get mumbled.*
"War.... just no."
"Fido.... ewww."
"Peter... might work."
"Doc Holliday..."
*He snickers unable to picture a female Doc.*
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Post by Emily on Mar 12, 2008 10:43:26 GMT -5
*Eyetick.*
"...er...thanks...but, uh...y'know: no thanks."
*Emile nodded after a moment.*
"Maybe a girl dressed as a guy could work best. I was watching Victor/Victoria the other day and it made some weird sense. Got any drag queens? Is Alex busy?"
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Post by Jeremy on Mar 12, 2008 10:55:28 GMT -5
"Not sure... I'd have to check with Kris. Which I can if you'd like."
*Starts feeling the pimp vibe. A pimp of women magically turned into men instead of surgically. It's a niche market.*
"I need a cane...."
*Jeremy shakes his head and smiles.*
"And personally... no I have no drag queens. Though wouldn't that technically be a guy dressed as a woman? And thus leading back to the gay sex ickyness.... speaking of which... is it the mechanics or idea of it that bugs you? If you don't mind me asking."
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Post by Valmont on Mar 12, 2008 11:04:16 GMT -5
((Alex is, for her part, fascinated. As long as she knows Em used to be a girl.
Kris is... er, fascinated as well.))
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Post by Emily on Mar 12, 2008 11:06:26 GMT -5
"I think butts are gross and there's really no escaping them unless you have a sword fight with penises instead of swords. Which seems like a real time-waster. If that clarifies anything."
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Post by Jeremy on Mar 12, 2008 11:18:16 GMT -5
"Well enough. Wasn't trying to convince you to play for a team I don't belong to or anything... though that would mean you weren't competition."
*Giving Emile a wink Jeremy grinned and sipped his booze.*
"I tend to play devil's advocate a lot. Like right now that part of my brain points out that guys have other orifice... but I digress. We were talking about finding you a guy shaped girl. Might be a tall order other than Alex."
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Post by Emily on Mar 12, 2008 12:29:35 GMT -5
"I should really give her a call, then..."
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Post by Jeremy on Mar 12, 2008 12:38:20 GMT -5
"Possibly... you know... you can always bring her here to talk about it over diner. We can even work out a menu if you'd like."
*Jeremy started thinking it over. The menu... not the Emile/Alex possibilities. Much.*
"She's been here before I think."
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Post by Emily on Mar 12, 2008 12:46:06 GMT -5
"Really? What does she like? Should I even bother wining and dining her? Not to imply that she's easy, but...it could save me time and money if she were."
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