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Post by Poe on Nov 25, 2007 2:55:05 GMT -5
*His comment sobered Poe and she recoiled, turning away again. She hadn't thought of it...it hadn't mattered before.*
"I..." *She whispered at the wall.*
"I will have to leave someday. My assignment...is not indefinite."
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Post by Fox Mulder on Nov 25, 2007 2:58:06 GMT -5
*Mulder frowned, cursing himself.*
"I don't care," *he said intensely.* "That's not how I want things to be, Poe. I don't want to be limited by what a little boy decided all those years ago. I want to be with you as much as I can--until you have to go."
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Post by Poe on Nov 25, 2007 3:02:21 GMT -5
"I don't want..."
*She glanced back towards him.*
"I don't want to go--I mean, hurt you...I mean...."
*She shut her eyes bitterly, turning her back to him. It was too hard. She felt out of control.*
"I don't understand...this feeling."
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Post by Fox Mulder on Nov 25, 2007 3:04:54 GMT -5
*It was going south again, Poe all out of control. She wasn't meant for things like this, he reminded himself. It was possible he was doing her a great disservice.
But it didn't seem that way from here.*
"Shh, Poe, don't. Don't worry about me. I'll survive, like I always have. Anyway, I'm not saying... Look. I'd rather worry about you right now."
*He paused, looking at her face.*
"I think, maybe, you feel... affection for me. More than you've been led to believe is proper for you."
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Post by Poe on Nov 25, 2007 3:08:30 GMT -5
*She rolled back to face him, but didn't lift her eyes, instead burying her face against his chest.*
"Why does it...ache like this? Is that affection? Why does it make me feel...guilt over my duties to my people? Please..."
*She finally raised her eyes to his.*
"I need to understand."
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Post by Fox Mulder on Nov 25, 2007 3:13:46 GMT -5
*Mulder sighed.*
"Some of those questions... You'll have to work out on your own, I'm afraid. That's just how it works. But it seems to be that a lot of affection feels like an ache because we don't have a way of quantifying the powerful feelings our regard for others evoke. Part of it is the feeling that you cannot possibly be close enough to that other person. The ache is... the longing to be closer, even when you're touching. We call it an ache because we don't have a better way of describing it--it might not be physical, but we read it that way.
"In your case, it's even more complicated--you've got this duty you're raised to uphold. And maybe having too much affection for any one specimen makes you risk investing too much in that person, rather than Collecting as many different ones as possible. You've got a powerful cultural bias working against you, Poe. I'm not surprised you're confused."
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Post by Poe on Nov 25, 2007 9:25:43 GMT -5
*Poe frowned, looking chastised. Then her body started to quiver, new tears threatening in her eyes.*
"But...I can't...still. I tried when I first woke...I...am broken, sir. My...my people will discard me."
*She pushed her face hard against his chest as if it would make the truth go away.*
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Post by Fox Mulder on Nov 25, 2007 12:35:53 GMT -5
*Mulder cradled the back of her head as well as he could.*
"I'm sorry, Poe," *he said softly.* "I can't help but think I might be responsible."
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Post by Poe on Nov 25, 2007 12:43:25 GMT -5
*She shook her head.*
"You don't understand...they...they will send me immediately to Reclamation. I...I mean nothing."
*Poe couldn't stop shaking.*
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Post by Fox Mulder on Nov 25, 2007 14:34:32 GMT -5
*Mulder moved his hands to her shoulders and forced her to look up at him.*
"Poe. Stop. They won't do anything of the kind. Because I, and the Doctor, won't let them. If things... if they're really that bad, if you can't fulfill your job, we'll find you another one. They won't have to know. They won't take you."
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Post by Poe on Nov 25, 2007 19:11:37 GMT -5
*Tears ran over Poe's cheeks as her gaze darted about restlessly.*
"How can you say that, sir? I...I can't stay here...not like this. What service can I possibly perform in this..."
*She gestured anxiously at her natural form.*
"I won't be able to leave this room."
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Post by Fox Mulder on Nov 25, 2007 20:11:27 GMT -5
*Mulder frowned, wishing he could console her better.*
"We have a friend with a spaceship," *he said.* "Not to mention a time machine. He can take you anywhere. Anytime. This planet isn't the be-all and end-all of the universe, is it?"
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Post by Poe on Nov 25, 2007 20:15:47 GMT -5
"But...but they'll know..."
*Poe's voice was a conspiratorial whisper.*
"They'll know if I leave. They...I...there is a tracking unit...."
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Post by Fox Mulder on Nov 25, 2007 20:33:35 GMT -5
*Mulder blinked. There was always a tracking unit. He should have known.*
"Where is it? Can it be disabled?"
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Post by Poe on Nov 25, 2007 20:41:25 GMT -5
*Poe's index finger thumped hollowly on a bony ridge in her chest.*
"They...go to lengths to insure that it is not tampered with..."
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