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Post by Mortimer on Dec 31, 2008 17:28:51 GMT -5
"It's okay. It's done--hm...my mind is bigger now. More thoughts, too many to say. Need to hear still more human speakings, then it will be better. And I want to have fun." he grinned, his teeth still large serrated triangles.
"Had much fun with Valmont. Very nice." He frowned a bit, however, remembering how he'd felt immediately afterward, because he and Valmont shared no love and he wondered if it would be like that every time, with everyone.
"How did you feel after make-love with Monsieur Valmont, Erik?"
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Post by Erik on Dec 31, 2008 17:33:56 GMT -5
There was something so disheartening about Mortimer's announcement about having fun. He'd had fun before--swimming. Red things. Apples. Erik could relate to that. He could relate to this, too, only... much less pleasantly. It was not his place to say, of course, but that wasn't how he thought of it.
He was not at all certain he wanted to compare notes, either. But he didn't have much choice, in his effort to pacify the man.
"Dirty," he said hollowly. "Guilty. Manipulated."
If pressed, he had to admit that Valmont was masterful--but his subsequent feelings outweighed any fleeting pleasure.
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Post by Mortimer on Dec 31, 2008 17:41:57 GMT -5
"Hm. Mortimer did not feel dirty, much." The mess Valmont had left on him was only small, after all ((yes I went there)) "And not manipulated, I wanted him. But did not feel...well, after. That was not Valmont's fault. I don't love him, so it was not so good. Will it be like that all the time? Does Erik know? How many times make-love did Erik do?"
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Post by Erik on Dec 31, 2008 17:47:46 GMT -5
Erik was, at this point, close to shock. He couldn't think about it anymore, merely answer. It was all too much to handle.
"I don't know," he said honestly. "It's not as if I'm counting." Which wasn't exactly true, but once it had hit ten he'd gotten bored with keeping a tally. "But some are better than others..." Julian was best, of course, for the simple, unalterable reason that they felt each others' feelings. It was difficult to compete with that sort of unity of communication. "I'm certain Valmont does not feel 'unwell' when he does not love."
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Post by Mortimer on Dec 31, 2008 17:55:55 GMT -5
"But he does not love anyone. Mortimer loves Erik best. Did not feel well f' not being with Erik." Probably. That seemed to make sense in his head, anyway. But that didn't mean he didn't want to have fun. And lots of it.
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Post by Erik on Dec 31, 2008 18:01:43 GMT -5
This seemed remarkably perceptive, suddenly, and it gave Erik pause. That this had been hidden beneath Mortimer's easy physicality was startling. Part of him wanted to attempt to be everything for Mortimer, to keep him from leaving.
But he didn't work like that. It did not mesh with how he felt about Mortimer, or more accurately Izame. He still felt like that boy, discovering his first friend. His regard for that position was nearly religious. Sex could not enter in.
"Then why leave him?" he asked mournfully.
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Post by Mortimer on Dec 31, 2008 18:15:56 GMT -5
"Because it will start to hurt. Erik has forced Mortimer to understand...some things. Too much to stay with Erik right now, and you'll be sad when Mortimer goes out lots f' fun."
He curled his lean little arms around Erik's thin frame and hugged to him as he always had, offering no seduction.
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Post by Erik on Dec 31, 2008 18:20:55 GMT -5
"I'm sorry," Erik breathed again, into Mortimer's hair. "I wanted you to stay... as you were." Could he have done this? But when? How could he have avoided it? And when had Mortimer become so... right? It was uncanny, but like Valmont earlier, Erik could not argue. Only feel hollow and bereft.
He wrapped his arms around Mortimer, afraid to let go.
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Post by Mortimer on Dec 31, 2008 18:31:08 GMT -5
"Don't be sad, Erik. Please don't be sad. Mortimer still loves Erik. Very very much." He kissed the man's cheek and smiled. "Hm...will only be just Above, with Valentine, and maybe will come back when Erik finishes building Mortimer's tank. Okay?"
He gave Erik's jaw a stroke "Very handsome Erik. Most handsome. Best."
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Post by Erik on Dec 31, 2008 18:42:36 GMT -5
Erik's eyelids lowered.
"You know that's not true," he murmured. "You shall not flatter me into submission." But what choice did he have? He could not keep Mortimer here; he could not fathom what was going on in that pretty head. Everything had changed. Mortimer was now so much older.
Erik was so accustomed to the role of caretaker, he was now at a loss.
"Erik cannot help but be sad," he said. "They all leave, in the end..."
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Post by Mortimer on Dec 31, 2008 18:51:02 GMT -5
"But Erik really is very handsome. Julian will agree. Mortimer would look like Erik but...you so hate your own face that I thought it would hurt you, so I chose to make my face close to Julian's, who is very pretty also. Dead-face...skulls...remind me..hm....something. Something like home, maybe. Before the ocean. I'm not leaving, not really. I will come see Erik and Julian very often. Okay?"
He hugged the man tighter and nuzzled his neck with a gentle purr.
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Post by Erik on Dec 31, 2008 18:54:41 GMT -5
"Okay," he murmured, echoing Mortimer. He had no choice. Mortimer was growing... not up, for he had not been a child. But something had happened. His speech patterns, his physicality, had moved beyond the state where he needed Erik to explain everything. And Erik missed him already. He held him close.
"Don't forget your care care," he said, not to mock Mortimer but to remind him of what they were to one another--whatever that was.
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Post by Mortimer on Dec 31, 2008 19:06:48 GMT -5
"I won't forget! You will still build my tank? With warm lights underneath to heat the water, and a rocky shore and plants and hidden apples?"
Mortimer pouted prettily up at Erik and then smiled. "Erik, when my mind settles I will have more questions...about lots of things, I think. Is okay? You will answer them f' me? And swim with me."
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Post by Erik on Dec 31, 2008 19:14:33 GMT -5
Erik smiled despite himself. "Yes, yes, with all that," he said. "Erik will build it. And you may ask what you like, Mortimer. Always. Erik is not planning on going anywhere."
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Post by Mortimer on Dec 31, 2008 19:21:33 GMT -5
"Good. Oh...would you like to know about what I do Above?" He smiled brightly, yes his mind was "bigger" but he still did not grasp certain human concepts. Sharing conquests with those less...apt to have them being not entirely appropriate entirely escaping him.
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