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Post by Shadi on Apr 14, 2009 17:43:56 GMT -5
Shadi's eyes widened at the sheer annoying effrontery of all this, and she took a deep breath.
"Fine!" she exploded finally. "I was wrong! I was wrong to leave him, I was wrong to think it would fix anything, I'm a stupid little girl."
She advanced on him, but this time only to poke her finger at his chest.
"How does that give you the right to lie to me? What sort of twisted asshole thinks that telling me my lover is dead will get us back together?? What have I ever done to lead you to believe that's what you needed to do--if that was even your intention. I think you were just trying to play me. Make me dance, make me cry, exert some sort of twisted power over me. Would you like to hear what I did next?" She continued almost without taking a breath, lest he inform her he did not. "I was drunk for... I don't know how many days, I cried a lot, and then I went out and got myself f----d by the most notorious asshole libertine in Paris, so he could find Rochester and bring him over to see me passed out and naked in his bed."
She heard a strangled gasp from somewhere outside.
"You know, that was a real positive step in our relationship."
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Post by Nadir on Apr 14, 2009 19:00:03 GMT -5
"Like father, like daughter, it would seem," said Nadir coolly. "You've seen the error of your own ways, as I saw the error of mine so many years ago...but you still have a reason to change. That, my dear girl, is the material difference between the two of us. You have something to live for, something to fight for."
His gaze bore into her, his brow furrowing.
"So why are you fighting a wreck of an old man for what he's done in the past and not one bit sorry for?"
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Post by Shadi on Apr 15, 2009 10:08:11 GMT -5
"I can't decide if you're an even bigger jerk than I thought, or if you really think you're helping," she said with exasperation. "I have exactly the same thing to live for I always have--myself. That's what you taught me, years ago. Because you've certainly never cared for anyone. I guess you've done me the favor of showing me what I could be, and don't want."
She wasn't shouting anymore, but her anger had not abated.
"You're a twisted old man," she announced. "You don't have any pleasure in your life so you enjoy making me miserable. Goading me." She jerked her head towards the window. "When it would be the simplest thing in the world to go out and get yourself laid by, say, that exquisite gardener who's been making eyes at you this whole time."
There was a muffled crash as a few bushes suffered the consequences of Edward's fall.
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Post by Nadir on Apr 15, 2009 19:30:13 GMT -5
Nadir let out a small groan, his eyes almost rolling back into his head as he turned and went to the window, pushing up the sash and sticking his head out as far as it would go.
"EDWARD!" he thundered. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY GARDEN AND GO THE FUCK HOME OR I AM CALLING THE GENDARMES."
He turned back to face Shadi, pinching the bridge of his nose and leaning his back against the counter.
"First it was Get a Hobby. Now that I've got a hobby, it's Go Get Laid. You're answers are always simple, and always whatever I happen to not be doing. I've finally found some kind of peace in my life, Shadi, and it's because I've cut myself off from everyone around me."
He gave a short, mocking bow.
"I'll no longer involve myself in any of your affairs, if that will suit you, as it seems I get nothing but trouble for any of my efforts to do the right thing by anybody."
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Post by Shadi on Apr 15, 2009 22:12:14 GMT -5
Shadi's expression hardened, unreadable and distant.
"That's clearly what you've wanted all along," she said. "You're the one acting like a child. A hobby, getting laid... those aren't solutions. It's the only way I know how to talk to you. You don't talk to me. You don't even look for me when I disappear for months on end. When you do see me, you assume I have to be manipulated. And now you tell me you're at peace because everyone, including me, has left you alone. I wonder why that is."
She shoved off the counter, making for the door before she stopped, halfway, and turned. "I've made mistakes, Nadir. But I have an excuse. What's yours? Of course, I intend to learn from mine. One of them having been ever trusting you in the first place."
Shadi wasn't really mad anymore, but there was a principle involved. And the man before her, whom she'd tried so hard to please, no longer made any sense to her.
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Post by Nadir on Apr 16, 2009 20:29:34 GMT -5
"I don't know what to do, Shadi," said Nadir, shaking his head, not meeting her eyes. "I just don't know what to do. I can't live my life over...I can't change the past; but never have I meant to toy with you. Never."
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Post by Shadi on Apr 16, 2009 21:14:02 GMT -5
Shadi folded her arms across her chest.
"I don't see any other explanation," she said. "As difficult as it is to believe that telling me Rochester was dead was a joke, I just don't see any other reason." She shrugged. "Maybe it's best. If I... if we leave each other alone. You didn't want me to begin with, and I have him, now. Not that I've ever needed anyone. I can't just be your daughter when you feel like lying to me."
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Post by Nadir on Apr 16, 2009 21:27:11 GMT -5
"I'm not so clear-sighted that I can think I'm doing the right thing while I'm actually doing the right thing," said Nadir with a sigh. "I'm only human, Shadi, and more flawed than most. Much more. Thanks to my Suethor. If you truly believe all I can do is hurt you, then...you can go."
He rubbed the back of his neck, staring blankly at the floor.
"I won't bother you again."
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Post by Shadi on Apr 16, 2009 22:10:58 GMT -5
"No..." she said slowly. "It wasn't all hurt. Anyway," she said wryly, "I've been hurt before." She frowned. "Why can't I ever stay angry? I'm angry, d'you hear? But I'll likely get over it soon."
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Post by Nadir on Apr 16, 2009 23:43:03 GMT -5
"You get that from your mother. She had a wild temper...but she was never angry for long."
Nadir looked up at her at last, a wan, weak smile crossing his face. In that moment, he DID give a fair imitation of being a rather old man.
"You could run...you could leave; and you'd be right," he said. "I can never remember that what's real to me...what's right to me, isn't, to others."
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Post by Shadi on Apr 17, 2009 18:20:12 GMT -5
This was, of course, somewhat infuriating--but it also made her curious. It was such an odd thing to say. Shadi, for all her faults, knew very little but what was real.
"How's that?" she asked. "What's real to you, then?"
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Post by Nadir on Apr 17, 2009 19:18:11 GMT -5
He laughed bitterly.
"I can hardly say...my opinions, the darker thoughts that lead me on to do what the world knows I should not and I--I cannot see my own folly, anymore, for it is everywhere, and I've grown used to it."
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Post by Shadi on Apr 19, 2009 2:48:37 GMT -5
"I don't understand that," she said honestly, though she well understood making mistakes. "Doesn't it become obvious, when you've made a mistake? And then, can't you fix it?"
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Post by Nadir on Apr 19, 2009 9:19:30 GMT -5
Nadir shook his head.
"When you get older...you get so tired. Of everything. When will and determination have been crossed times out of mind, eventually...eventually you stop trying."
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Post by Shadi on Apr 20, 2009 9:23:27 GMT -5
"I don't accept that," Shadi said, shaking her head slightly. "I don't accept giving up. And I don't accept your disappointment as an excuse for trying to interfere with me. Interfere, not give advice. That's not what you were doing."
She sighed. "I don't want to never see you again. Well, I sort of do, right now. But not really. But Nadir... you can't treat people that way. Unless you never want to see them again."
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