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Post by Erik on Nov 6, 2007 0:54:59 GMT -5
((God, I always think of wontons...))
*Erik's weakness dissolved in the face of the reverence Julian showed him. He did not have to doubt, here. He did not have to hide. He kissed Julian fiercely, the pent up love and frustration and lust now given proper outlet. Julian did not run from him; and yet was not tainted. He yearned for that connection, that sense of wholeness. He would not have to think about belonging. He had never belonged in the way he could here.
He pushed Julian down on the bed, divesting him of clothing. Julian was all the best of him distilled. He could, in those brief moments, know what that meant.*
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Post by Julian on Nov 6, 2007 1:00:15 GMT -5
((Dude. Now I want pot stickers.))
*Julian took the action in stride, welcoming Erik with open arms. He wanted this, needed to be what Erik needed. To be something that Christian never would be. Even...even if Erik would always keep Christian, Julian vowed to be what he needed most. He kissed him hotly, with urgency as he pulled Erik on top of him.*
Love me. Be with only me, if just for this moment...
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Post by Erik on Nov 6, 2007 1:07:54 GMT -5
No other, Julian. Erik is never more himself... than here with you.
*He could not stop to analyze the magnetism of them together. Each knew what the other wanted, most desired, felt. Every muscle moved in concert. Every breath was taken together. They were one being, real only when locked together. Flashes appeared before Erik's closed eyes, like a strobe light: he saw himself, through Julian's eyes. Strange and noble and powerful. Julian's hands. The tug of his own in Julian's hair. Christian's wide eyes, staring up at him in glazed lust. His young body, with a sheen of sweat. The hotel counterpane...
Erik's head whipped up sharply, the spell broken. Something shattered in his mind, then came back together, the jagged edges shredding what was left of his reserve.*
"Julian... you didn't..."
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Post by Julian on Nov 6, 2007 1:10:41 GMT -5
"Didn't?"
*Julian was lost in the fog of lust for a moment.*
"I'm sorry, what do you mean?"
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Post by Erik on Nov 6, 2007 1:14:01 GMT -5
*Erik was certain now. It made too much sense. Christian's actions, his words. His surprise. He didn't know how it had happened, but it most assuredly had.
He wanted so very desperately to be wrong.*
I saw him. In your mind. In bed. Julian, what have you done? What has he done to you, Christian?
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Post by Julian on Nov 6, 2007 9:01:40 GMT -5
*Julian looked wounded.*
I gave him what he wanted most. I wanted him to be happy. I knew what he would do if he was forced to come to terms with your true face. I gave him you. Is that not the greatest peace offering I can make?
*His eyes darkened.*
You promised me. All you have you would share with me, save your manuscript of Don Juan Triumphant. In all this time, I have never touched it. Why are you so upset with me?
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Post by Erik on Nov 6, 2007 18:33:22 GMT -5
"He was mine!" *Erik roared.* "Mine, so very nearly."
*He moved back to Julian, pressing him against the wall, his ruined face inches from the handsome one.*
"He was pure. Innocent. He came to me, to save me, to be what Christine dared not. And you took that from me. Erik's triumph..."
*He turned away, awash in an untenable mix of despair and anger. He didn't understand why this had happened. Would he ever get the dual vision of what Julian had done, and what Christian had seen of his true face, from his mind's eye? He threw the closest thing to hand, a book, across the room. Not aiming it.*
"Who cares about him, Julian? What about Erik?"
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Post by Julian on Nov 6, 2007 19:38:32 GMT -5
*Tears fell silently over Julian's cheeks as he tried to process Erik's rage. It ate at him terribly. He stumbled and fell hard on his knees.*
"I..."
It...it is your triumph. Yours alone. He loves only you. And...if you want only him...I...will understand.
*He curled up, turning away from Erik, hiding his face.*
Don't look...don't look at me. I am nothing but a monster. They were right to think so, that I could hurt the one person I loved so...
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Post by Erik on Nov 7, 2007 10:47:31 GMT -5
((I really just want to cuddle him and tell him it's okay.))
*Erik could feel Julian's grief and pain, nearly as if it were his own. It muddied things, diluted his anger. And the bombshell was wrapped up neatly in one word:
Monster.
He stood rooted to the spot, unable to command his body to flee or fight, to comfort or confront. Was nothing his own anymore? Not Christian, not even his own heart. His thoughts. And yet, the connection with Julian did not allow him to hate. He could attempt to keep his perspective, but it warred with his emotions.*
How could you do it? What made you take this from Erik, who should have been first?
Please... why?
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Post by Julian on Nov 7, 2007 15:53:04 GMT -5
*Julian scooted farther away.*
Because...
*He pushed his thoughts down for a moment.*
You were first. First and only.
*He hid his face in his hands, pain twisting his heart.*
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Post by Erik on Nov 7, 2007 16:51:14 GMT -5
*Erik turned and punched the wall, plaster giving way even as it was stained with his blood. That helped. Some.*
"Julian..."
*Was it a plea or a curse? He turned back to the cowering creature he loved more than anything.*
"What hasn't Erik given you? What has he denied you, that you lash out at him with such jealousy?"
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Post by Julian on Nov 7, 2007 17:05:43 GMT -5
*Julian flinched at the impact, as if it was his own fist...or face...that took the force. His lips tightened.*
Your heart.
*The thought was pure and pained. He straightened, but did not stand.*
But I...I think I know what I must do...to free you of my...weakness.
*He didn't look back to him, just unclasped the chain from around his neck, letting it fall to the floor. Only then did he turn back to Erik, eyes rimmed in red.*
I won't interfere. I promise. You'll make things right with him. I know you will. After all, you can fix anything. The greatest genius that ever lived...
*He lifted his hand and stroked Erik's cheek, his fingers passing through his skin as Julian slowly faded from sight.*
I will love you for always.
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Post by Erik on Nov 7, 2007 17:20:53 GMT -5
*Erik realized what Julian was doing just a moment too late. When he reached out, all he felt was air, though he could see Julian like an afterimage from staring into the sun.*
"Julian!"
*The feeling hit him like a guillotine severing his soul and he fell to his knees, his hands scrabbling for the amulet. It hurt. He hadn't known, hadn't realized just how much Julian was a part of him. But now that part was gone, and he felt empty. Hollow. Had he always been this way, and never known? Or had Julian taken it from him to begin with?
Did it matter?
Dry heaves wracked his body, but slowly he regained control by directing his pain into anger. He would not let anyone, Julian or God or Death, take this from him. With steady hands he fixed the amulet around his neck and stood. He had to adjust his clothing, and did so calmly.
Someone would pay. And Julian would come back.*
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Post by Brandi on Nov 7, 2007 17:33:48 GMT -5
((It's official. I love you. Like...more than chocolate.))
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Post by Erik on Nov 7, 2007 17:35:55 GMT -5
((Is that possible? RUN AWAY WITH ME))
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