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Post by Captain Hank "Hazel" Murphy on Nov 19, 2007 14:10:07 GMT -5
Murphy was still kicking and screaming for someone to save him as they threw him in to a room and closed the door "Help me Jesus, help me Allah, help me Jewish god, help me Tom Cruise!" He banged on the walls "Tom Cruise use your magic to get me out of here!"
((Random Talladega Nights reference, check.))
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Post by Captain Hank "Hazel" Murphy on Dec 11, 2007 20:38:59 GMT -5
**LATER, SO MUCH LATER THAT LATER IS NOW BEFORE AND NOW BEFORE IS AFTER**
The Captain sat in his cell singing an old Irish drinking song.
"I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down, I get knocked down, I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down![/b]
Of course he didn't know it was neither old nor Irish.
He continued to contest his sanity proclaiming that the institution itself was useless as Dr. Quinn in a pool. He of course didn't realize this was racist and that his old cell mate was black.
He proceeded to say that it's okay, and that he hates that bad Spanish speaking mailbox head Marco more to which his old cell mate replied "I'm half Mexican" and proceeded to beat the captain to a pulp, he was immediately moved to solitary leaving the captain in the cell.
He picked up a cup he got from somewhere and began scraping it across the bars.
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Post by Sunflower Brooks on Dec 11, 2007 20:41:05 GMT -5
Sunflower pulled her coat across her shoulders and walked through the asylum, she had been volunteering there in her spare time (which seemed to be all the time anymore since all Snape did was sit around and drink and wait for Magda to come home) and had taken a liking to a lot of the asylum patrons, especially the cuckoo that was Captain Murphy.
"'Ello Capn', 'ow are we today?"
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Post by Captain Hank "Hazel" Murphy on Dec 11, 2007 20:47:14 GMT -5
Murphy looked up to see the prettiest sight he had seen all day, he pulled out a cigar and a candy bar from his back pocket and smiled. "All right, hungry?" He handed her the candy bar and light the cigar for himself.
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Post by Sunflower Brooks on Dec 11, 2007 20:48:21 GMT -5
Sunflower put the candy bar in her bag, she had no idea what it was but she'd check it out later. "You know, you can pull all these wondaful things outta that pocket of yours, why can't you just pull out a canon and blow yourself out?"
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Post by Captain Hank "Hazel" Murphy on Dec 11, 2007 20:50:10 GMT -5
"Tried" he sat down on the cot and looked up at the ceiling "but all I kept getting were these pumpkin pies" he pointed to a pile or rotting pies in the corner.
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Post by Sunflower Brooks on Dec 11, 2007 20:52:00 GMT -5
Sunflower cringed and waved to the gaurd "Can you open this cell for me?" the gaurd nodded and took out a large stick and began waving it at the captain.
"E' keeps on tryin to get out of ze cell, throws zings at us, he's a terror!" Sunflower smiled and walked in the cell.
"Gimme that big trash can o'er there so I can clean this place up."
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Post by Captain Hank "Hazel" Murphy on Dec 11, 2007 20:54:06 GMT -5
Murphy stuck his tongue out at the guard as he closed the cell, locking him and Sunflower in.
"They keep waving that stick at me, I'm going to bring down the fire!" He waved his cigar in the air causing a bit of the end to fall on his lap and burn him. "Ow son of a, god, ow!"
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Post by Sunflower Brooks on Dec 11, 2007 20:55:55 GMT -5
"You know if you were still 2D like you said you were, that woun't 'ave burned you" she picked up a pail of water and dipped a rag in it "don't move" she demanded as she began to tap where he burned.
"Them cigars is gonna kill ya one day, you know."
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Post by Captain Hank "Hazel" Murphy on Dec 11, 2007 20:57:10 GMT -5
"What do I care?" Murphy laughed "I somehow went from television to the real world without blinking an eye, if I die, logically-" which something he doesn't have, but somehow manages to use"-I could come back, like a lot of the people here."
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Post by Sunflower Brooks on Dec 11, 2007 20:58:19 GMT -5
"You're a strange one Capn'" she dabbed his leg one more time before pulling out a small vile of some weird liquid "Made it me-self" she rubbed some on the spot causing it to sizzle, Murphy yelled out in pain, but before he could curse her, he realized the burn was gone.
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Post by Captain Hank "Hazel" Murphy on Dec 11, 2007 20:58:35 GMT -5
"I thought I was the one with the magic here!"
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Post by Sunflower Brooks on Dec 11, 2007 21:00:58 GMT -5
"'Ell, I've been readin me employers books, the wizard fellow I told ya about, and it says even us muggles, that'd be people like me who can't do magic, can make potions, so I tried a couple and bam I'mma natural!"
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Post by Captain Hank "Hazel" Murphy on Dec 11, 2007 21:03:20 GMT -5
"Good for you Sunflower!" He smiled "You know they can't keep me here forever, eventually I'll get out." He said to no one in particular "If ONLY I wouldn't have gotten wasted and urinated on the police station... and on that police man!"
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Post by Sunflower Brooks on Dec 11, 2007 21:06:42 GMT -5
Sunflower smiled at him "I've been comin' 'ere for tree months and e'ry day you say tat, an' e'ry day you get further an' further away from gettin out. Why don't you just cooperate wit the people huh?"
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