dark reunion pt. II
Dec 29, 2016 12:51:17 GMT -5
Post by Teja on Dec 29, 2016 12:51:17 GMT -5
Three weeks had passed, but the start of December was already chilly enough that wearing skirts out of doors was often enough reason for Teja to justify staying home and reading instead of leaving the house - making her a huge imposition on Loki, naturally. He had always hated to be housebound, but these days put up with it for her, until she started fights with him about it, that was - how much he only did to make her happy, how much she didn't deserve it. The atmosphere must have been growing suffocating, for today she had gone outside alone, even without Loki's company. He did so many things without her these days, meeting with very high-prestige people as well as visiting nearby campuses, not to give talks about success or anything like that, merely to "hang out". She was glad to be rid of him, sometimes, she had more or less told David on one of the few times David himself wasn't busy with his job. Loki was needy, everyone who knew him knew that much. He couldn't bear to be left alone for long, which meant that, when he was at home, he didn't give Teja a lot of peace. But nowadays he was able to find other company.
And so even though this made her a massive hypocrite, Teja was starting to get very lonely.
It was her own fault, she thought to herself very savagely while washing her hands in a Starbucks bathroom, then while carefully arranging the chain on her gold necklace so that the clasp was no longer on the collarbone outside her turtleneck. She had had friends in Adrian and Johannes and then those friendships had been ruined because she apparently couldn't keep to her own damn bed, and once she had decided she personally wanted to stay monogamous with Loki, it had become too difficult to see those men anymore. In fact she'd had plenty of opportunity with Adrian, and had even not long ago spent an afternoon with him at the museum with the baby strapped to that massive chest of his; but it hurt too much to be with him without being with him. She wondered if he felt that too, or if he knew she felt that and resented her a bit for clearly beginning to cut him out of her life. It wasn't easy for her like it was for him to see other people. Whenever she was with any of them, she wished it were only the two of them - but she'd married Loki, and that had been a choice, even if it hadn't been clear at the time. Nowadays even knowing she had to share her husband with Fandral hurt.
She didn't even know why she'd left the house anymore, she thought as she walked down the street, gloved hands in the pockets of her very long coat. Maybe just to pretend that she had a life, too, when everyone else did. Maybe having something to take up her time would have improved her, but she didn't even have the energy to look into getting a new job these days. She just had to pretend to be happy and cozy and satisfied when Loki and David were gone all of the time and leaving her alone with the unpleasant growing suspicion that they liked, respectively, fame and Adrian Veidt more than either of them liked her.
And so even though this made her a massive hypocrite, Teja was starting to get very lonely.
It was her own fault, she thought to herself very savagely while washing her hands in a Starbucks bathroom, then while carefully arranging the chain on her gold necklace so that the clasp was no longer on the collarbone outside her turtleneck. She had had friends in Adrian and Johannes and then those friendships had been ruined because she apparently couldn't keep to her own damn bed, and once she had decided she personally wanted to stay monogamous with Loki, it had become too difficult to see those men anymore. In fact she'd had plenty of opportunity with Adrian, and had even not long ago spent an afternoon with him at the museum with the baby strapped to that massive chest of his; but it hurt too much to be with him without being with him. She wondered if he felt that too, or if he knew she felt that and resented her a bit for clearly beginning to cut him out of her life. It wasn't easy for her like it was for him to see other people. Whenever she was with any of them, she wished it were only the two of them - but she'd married Loki, and that had been a choice, even if it hadn't been clear at the time. Nowadays even knowing she had to share her husband with Fandral hurt.
She didn't even know why she'd left the house anymore, she thought as she walked down the street, gloved hands in the pockets of her very long coat. Maybe just to pretend that she had a life, too, when everyone else did. Maybe having something to take up her time would have improved her, but she didn't even have the energy to look into getting a new job these days. She just had to pretend to be happy and cozy and satisfied when Loki and David were gone all of the time and leaving her alone with the unpleasant growing suspicion that they liked, respectively, fame and Adrian Veidt more than either of them liked her.