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Post by Inspector Jason Cluont on Jul 9, 2008 19:55:13 GMT -5
"What, exactly, are you afraid of? I wouldn't hurt you, you know. Not like them. So you needn't be afraid of, " he narrowed his eyes, pausing and trying to think for a moment. "of what you might feel toward me, and how I might react to it."
He let his hand settle on Lee's shoulder and moved closer to him, tensing his jaw. Of course, he didn't tend to follow his own advice.
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Post by Lee Chaolan on Jul 9, 2008 20:34:36 GMT -5
Lee sighed and smiled a little, though it was a bittersweet expression. The hand on his shoulder made his blood pump a little faster, and he took a deep breath to keep himself from getting too excited for the contact.
I have been alone too long... he thought, forcing his smile to be a little more friendly.
"I'm afraid of being hurt," he admitted, folding a hand over the inspector's, keeping the Frenchman where he was. "There's a lot of reasons I've never married... so it keeps me in fear."
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Post by Inspector Jason Cluont on Jul 10, 2008 0:56:15 GMT -5
"I wouldn't intentionally hurt you. And you are very beautiful, but I can't..." he sighed and took his hand back, folding his arms across his chest to close himself off.
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Post by Lee Chaolan on Jul 10, 2008 22:05:13 GMT -5
Lee felt the urge to snap "Why not?!" at the inspector, but all he did was hang his head in a defeated nod. "I...see..."
Jason "couldn't." Couldn't what, was the question. Couldn't touch another man? Or just couldn't... Lee looked up again, shifting a little closer. He tentatively laid a hand on Jason's folded arms, leaning close to him.
"What 'can't' you do, Jason?"
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Post by Inspector Jason Cluont on Jul 10, 2008 22:10:49 GMT -5
"It's quite complicated, Lee. There are laws, and I'm a Church-going man."
And there was much more than that, of course, but his jaw tensed before he could come to say anything else and he looked away, looked down at the needle still loaded and waiting on the table.
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Post by Lee Chaolan on Jul 10, 2008 22:23:41 GMT -5
Lee removed his hand from Jason's arm and gently cupped his cheek, guiding the man's face toward his own, just to make eye contact.
"I saw the other uniform in your room, Jason." He slid his thumb up along the inspector's cheek, trying to soothe him. He hoped that Cluont would actually respond, and not push him away.
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Post by Inspector Jason Cluont on Jul 10, 2008 22:32:12 GMT -5
At that, the man squeezed his eyes closed and didn't open them again as his entire body tensed.
"It belonged to Justin. We were terribly...close, but we were not lovers."
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Post by Lee Chaolan on Jul 10, 2008 22:37:27 GMT -5
"You must have cared for him deeply still..." replied Lee, still trying to offer comfort to the man who had helped him so. He raised a hand up to Jason's temple, gently running his fingers through the man's hair as much as he was allowed.
"Do you regret not being his lover?"
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Post by Inspector Jason Cluont on Jul 10, 2008 22:46:34 GMT -5
The policer's eyes remained closed but he relaxed down into the leather cushions of the sofa to allow Lee to reach him more easily.
"No, it wasn't even a question with us. How can I explain it? We were content as we were...he fit so perfectly into my arms. His name was Justinian. Justin. He wasn't particularly handsome, or strong or fit...or sober...I don't know what to say about him, other than that he is gone."
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Post by Lee Chaolan on Jul 10, 2008 22:58:48 GMT -5
When Jason moved, Lee followed, removing his hand from the man's face to rest both on Jason's arms, his fingers slowly working in between.
Cautiously and quietly, Lee followed with, "I know I cannot be Justin, but I can be here..."
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Post by Inspector Jason Cluont on Jul 10, 2008 23:11:03 GMT -5
He raised a hand and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"I can't..make love to you, Lee."
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Post by Lee Chaolan on Jul 10, 2008 23:20:30 GMT -5
Lee frowned at that and sank away, feeling a pang of guilt and... shame? His hands folded in his lap, and he contemplated what Jason said. Well, a physical ailment couldn't be helped, but, considering all that had happened to him, Lee was wary of sex, regardless of the partner. However, if it was just because of damnable faith and European laws...
"I don't need any more than a kiss..." he murmured, his lips barely moving and his voice hardly audible. As it was, he was speaking in Xiang, his head starting to hurt from the emotional buildup.
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Post by Inspector Jason Cluont on Jul 10, 2008 23:25:48 GMT -5
Jason, likewise, switched to Lee's native tongue, pulling the man closer to him.
"Will this do, for now?"
He muttered and curled his large hand over Lee's cheek, leaning down to plant a soft, warm and mostly chaste kiss to his lips.
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Post by Lee Chaolan on Jul 10, 2008 23:55:19 GMT -5
Gasping at the contact, Lee nearly melted at the touch of Jason's lips, pressing back with his own mouth, perhaps a little more wantonly than needed. A shiver ran through him, and he wrapped his arms around the larger man, if only to keep himself from falling off the couch.
"...oh yes..." he whispered, pressing his cheek to Jason's before he was tempted to go beyond the kiss.
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Post by Inspector Jason Cluont on Jul 11, 2008 2:47:50 GMT -5
The policer pushed his hand through the man's silver hair and tilted his head up to kiss Lee's smooth, warm forehead and leaned back a bit to look at him.
"You wore green tonight..." he muttered, stroking his thumb near the corner of Lee's eye, where the brilliant eyeshadow was a bit faded from the party and the night.
"The purple or blue looks more becoming on you, I think. For your eyes."
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