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Post by Christian Daaé on Aug 3, 2011 23:10:15 GMT -5
"Staring at an empty apartment..." He shook his head.
"Jesse, why haven't you just called me?"
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Post by Jesse James on Aug 3, 2011 23:17:49 GMT -5
"I was gonna knock" he didn't look up "and I was going to, but I figured you didn't want to talk to me."
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Post by Christian Daaé on Aug 4, 2011 11:29:56 GMT -5
"What gave you that idea? I've been sitting here starting to wonder if you decided I wasn't worth your time."
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Post by Jesse James on Aug 5, 2011 1:11:03 GMT -5
"I haven't the slightest idea" he sighed "I was just, you probably think me a coward huh?" He looked up finally, his eyes dark with sleeplessness.
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Post by Christian Daaé on Aug 5, 2011 14:30:18 GMT -5
Christian was not oblivious to Jesse's weariness.
"You haven't been sleeping." He said, voice filled with concerned. "Is it because of me?"
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Post by Jesse James on Aug 7, 2011 18:43:49 GMT -5
"Well, partly yes, but I mean I got the baby too-" he sighed.
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Post by Christian Daaé on Aug 7, 2011 23:38:44 GMT -5
"You don't have to spare my feelings. I've had only one person on my mind this entire time, and I think you can guess who."
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Post by Jesse James on Aug 8, 2011 18:17:25 GMT -5
"The Queen?" He replied trying his hand at humor, it didn't work he pushed his hands in to his eyes "Chris, I'm just a coward I can't call it off with Diana, I can't break her heart. I know she knows, she hasta know, and I'm just livin a lie stayin with her. I couldn't even pick up the phone to even call you, because I'm a coward, a yellow bellied coward."
He didn't want to do this, he was a man, a man didn't fall apart like this.
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Post by Christian Daaé on Aug 8, 2011 23:11:08 GMT -5
"Right. And what about me? I just have to stand off to the sight and wait until you make up your mind?"
He shook his head.
"I'm not going to put my life on hold for someone else. I did that once before, I'm not going to let that happen again. You need to let her go or let me go. You can't it have it both ways."
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Post by Jesse James on Aug 9, 2011 0:38:28 GMT -5
"You think I don't know that?" He asked "You think I want ya ta hafta to do that? It ain't fair to ya, and it ain't fair to her. I can't keep livin like this, she's just so damn fragile-"
He felt tears well up, that was not going to happen, he was not going to cry. He took a deep shaky breath and exhaled attempting to keep his emotions at bay. It was easier when he was a soulless murderer, at least then when he had a problem he could run, if it caught up with him, he just kept running- or he killed it.
"I'm sorry, but that don't mean much anymore does it?"
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Post by Christian Daaé on Aug 9, 2011 17:24:11 GMT -5
"Then do something about it!" He said, his voice rising a little.
"You're putting everyone's life on hold while you sit and argue with yourself about it because you're too chicken to do the right thing."
Christian's gaze was direct, and unrelentingly critical.
"The more it drags out, the worse it will get."
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Post by Jesse James on Aug 9, 2011 18:30:46 GMT -5
"I know god dammit, I know!"
He turned around "Tell me how I'm suppose to do it? Fuck, tell me, if you were in my shoes, and you had a brand new damn baby, and a woman who thinks you'll be there forever, that you can fix anything. But any feelings you mighta had, any feelings are completely gone because you are in love with someone else. Tell me you could just walk right up to her and tell her I'm sorry, I'll help you take care of our brand new baby, but I just dont want you anymore."
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Post by Christian Daaé on Aug 9, 2011 23:05:31 GMT -5
"I had to tell someone goodbye." He said softly.
"The circumstances were different, but by god, I know what it's like." He heaved a sigh.
"I knew the relationship was a bad one for me, but I stayed because I was afraid of saying, it's time to go, I can't do this anymore."
He shook his head.
"There's no way to. There were tears, there was yelling, and running away. You can't soften a blow, it's not the kind that can be. You just have to do it."
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Post by Jesse James on Aug 11, 2011 0:37:23 GMT -5
Pulling his hat off Jesse nodded "I didn't know, I'm- fuck me" he turned around toward the front door "I am the worlds biggest asshole."
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Post by Christian Daaé on Aug 11, 2011 3:16:48 GMT -5
"Jesse," Christian said, grabbing his sleeve.
"Please. Don't go yet."
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