Spock
- Ingenious Pilot -
Apparently he's GQ?%\0\%
Posts: 142
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Post by Spock on Jun 12, 2009 17:21:28 GMT -5
((Oh, the food is here! I meant to tell you that I'm still not sure how the NPCs and stuff work so I'm leaving those kinds of narration bits to you. I know it's whatever but it still feels weird. So I hope that's alright. Maybe I'll pick up the knack of it somewhere down the line.))
Spock went still at the captain's offer of assistance in 'organizing his thoughts'. Spock was ordinarily still, so outwardly there was only a little difference, but inwardly he felt as though he'd hit a glitch which temporarily paused all processes before they continued again.
It was just that Spock's father had told him emotion was understandable and may even be necessary in response to what had happened. What Vulcan teaching taught, Sarek had explained, was that in cases such as these you must accept that emotion as inevitable, parse it, reason it out, not let it affect your actions to the point at which your actions were driven by emotion. Allow yourself to process and transcend so that one remained rational.
Organize your thoughts.
And it was something Spock's mother had done often. She had never said to Spock, "Cry it out," the way a young human woman had once told one of his students to. She had never insisted Spock express emotions as so many humans seemed to think was best. But she had known Spock had them, without making them feel like something shameful by explicitly calling them out. She had only ever merely said, we can talk, if you wish further analysis.
He wondered how long and in what ways the captain must know his other self in order to find the words that above any other, expressed such a depth of caring in such an appropriate way. Spock knew that when the captain spoke them, his own too-human eyes might betray him, even if the rest of him did not.
They definitely betrayed him when the captain changed the subject. There was no way his eyes could not be described as 'grateful', and for the fleeting moment, Spock did not care. His voice was crisp and quick. "The elder Spock in my universe might have more in common with the Spock in your time than myself, or may in fact be from the same universe at a later time. In that case he would be able to illuminate many things my counterpart told me, but it seems so would you. My elder self told me you and he were closely connected."
There were many questions Spock had about what the elder Spock had meant about serving with Kirk being beneficial to him, however, because he was no longer the same person, those questions were not relevant. Nor would questions about Sarek or Amanda or Vulcan or even Lt. Uhura in this Kirk's universe be relevant. Spock had a very logical concern that his vast abundance of curiosity sometimes bordered on frivolity, which would be unacceptable.
"Therefore several of my questions are similar to yours. How long have Commander Spock served under you? In what circumstances did you gain your captaincy, and in what capacity did you initially meet?"
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Post by James T. Kirk on Jun 12, 2009 17:43:30 GMT -5
((Oh, I'm pretty loose about that--if I pull in an NPC, it's unlikely that I feel possessive about them and you're welcome to manipulate the environment as much as I do. Also if I push past something you need to address or add too much, let me know and I'll edit.))
Kirk was watching him without trying to look like was watching him quite so closely; then again, he wasn't going to look pointedly away. Act normal, he told himself, so he listened and watched and caught the look, fleeting as it was, and felt warmth at getting it right. Kirk had a great instinct about people, but that didn't make all people equally easy to read. And sometimes his own concerns got in the way of what other people needed. He was feeling a great protectiveness towards this younger Spock, a feeling he knew both he and Kirk's own Mr. Spock would dismiss as illogical. This Spock was a grown man, serving in the exact same capacity as his own first officer, and Kirk knew that man to be a trustworthy one. At any age.
It didn't make that slightly lost look this one had any easier for him to bear. Even if he was imagining it.
Kirk took a bit and let Spock continue, giving him time to gather himself and ask whatever he needed to. He was struck, oddly, by this Spock's admission of the other Spock's spoken regard for him. The fact of it wasn't a surprise, really, but confirmation from the man's own lips always moved him, as seldom--and sincerely--as it was offered.
"It's been about two years," he said. "It seems like longer, though; I suppose you know this, but you get to know someone pretty quickly under those circumstances. When I took over the Enterprise from Captain Pike, Spock stayed on. As to my promotion, it was fairly standard; a rise through the ranks, commendations for various actions, that sort of thing. Not as quickly as your Kirk, but I was 31 when I was promoted to Captain--32 when the paperwork and the bureaucratic nonsense was out of the way and the best job of my life began. Which sounds like it has the same description as your mission."
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Spock
- Ingenious Pilot -
Apparently he's GQ?%\0\%
Posts: 142
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Post by Spock on Jun 13, 2009 1:03:39 GMT -5
((Oh, likewise.))
"It is interesting your Enterprise is on similar assignment. Although many Constitution class starcruisers are engaged in charting the unknown, I had assumed our particular mission was a direct result of recent events." Spock had in fact assumed their assignment was a neat maneuver on the part of Starfleet to give James T. Kirk a mission of as little delicacy, precision, and significance as possible, as a means of mitigating the damage of what some viewed as a too hasty promotion. Spock himself was not convinced as to the wisdom of the promotion. He also found it understandable that Starfleet wanted Kirk at some distance in this point in time.
Perhaps the mission was not just an attempt to safely occupy an unpredictable element. Then again, perhaps this Kirk was just as unpredictable--though he did seem a great deal more stable than the Kirk of Spock's universe.
Spock mulled over what information would be relevant to extract from this captain, what could be used to ascertain whether the elder Spock in his own universe was from this Kirk's. "My elder counterpart referred to our accomplishments," he said at last. "And you referred to our discovery of a means by which to travel back in time. What other things have you learned? I refer specifically to knowledge or abilities gained with the assistance of my other self. Because I wish to know on what facts the advice of my elder self was based," Spock pointed out, not without recognition of the humor in his words, "I have a vested self-interest."
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Post by James T. Kirk on Jun 13, 2009 1:14:21 GMT -5
The Enterprise's core mission was, of course, rather vague. But that was the beauty of it--and the ship was, therefore, available in various parts of the galaxy when more specific missions arose. Kirk liked the arrangement very much except when the "mission" involved ferrying stuffed shirts or attending to formalities.
It was Kirk's turn to raise his eyebrow at Spock. When he did so, it was neither so dramatic nor one-sided as Spock's habitual maneuver, and could not strictly be said to be an imitation. "Indeed, Mr. Spock. You speak to the point. But it might help me to know what advice he gave you; Mr. Spock's contributions to the ship and our mission have been too numerous to cover during the course of a simple lunch."
((Um, if Spock's already mentioned the advice, let me know; I looked back, but couldn't see/remember him doing so. I have trouble remembering stuff in rp.))
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Spock
- Ingenious Pilot -
Apparently he's GQ?%\0\%
Posts: 142
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Post by Spock on Jun 13, 2009 2:48:59 GMT -5
((he did mention it, but in passing. It was when he was explaining where he works now; he says something like, "Per the advice of my elder counterpart I submitted my candidacy for first officer" --too lazy to find it. Since Kirk has been very quick, Spock assumed he would not need to reiterate. It's not that you're NOT quick or anything; I'm having the same trouble remembering things too. I mean it's been like a week for us. ;D If you want to change what Kirk says, you can, and I'll change this response. Otherwise we can keep it.))
"I was referring to his advice to remain in Starfleet. As the position open to me was to serve as first officer to the Captain Kirk of my universe, the recommendation that I serve with you was implied."
If this Kirk had implied the "close connection" between the elder Spock and the Kirk was a friendship, it was this Kirk's own prerogative. However Spock had no wish to elaborate regarding what the elder Spock had said about friendships that would define them, or needing each other.
Spock had followed the advice of his elder self due to curiosity, and an unwillingness to deny himself a chance to learn. He had always thought he could discover much from humans; it had been why he had joined Starfleet in the first place. However, he was well aware his counterpart's friendships and accomplishments could not be his own. The needs his counterpart had expressed were not his own needs. This universe, and this Spock, were different.
Therefore he saw no reason to reveal what his elder counterpart had said regarding friendship. Furthermore Spock was not sure he trusted that his older self had not become corrupted somehow. His other advice--to forgo logic--seemed to Spock corrupt. In that vein, 'friend' was not a term Vulcans often used; the preferred term translated to something more along the lines of 'respected companion'. The term 'friend' was often associated with emotion, and Spock was not sure he wholly approved of the value his elder self placed on it.
Lastly even if he had desired it, Spock looked upon the possibility of friendship with the Kirk in his time with skepticism. They had not begun in the way of most friendships of which Spock had heard. Kirk had cheated on his test, and mutinied him, and insulted his mother. Moreover the destruction of Vulcan, and that Kirk's provocation, had revealed a corruption in Spock's own self Spock felt would not make him worthy of that Kirk's regard in any case.
Or any Kirk.
The Spock of this Kirk's time could never have wrought such ugliness, having not been faced with a pain so deep. The Spock of this Kirk's time no doubt commanded respect this Spock could only continually endeavor to deserve.
((All the Spocks are so confusing. Maybe I should just be using Prime! and TOS! shorthand.))
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Post by James T. Kirk on Jun 13, 2009 13:36:21 GMT -5
((No, I think it's okay. It was fleeting, and Kirk may well have wanted to know if there was some more specific advice or something. Also, do you think Spock would refer to them in shorthand?))
Kirk nodded, looking down slightly to hide his smile. Not because he was embarrassed, but because the feeling wasn't necessarily directed towards the man in front of him; he was thinking about Spock, his Spock, and wasn't that nomenclature a little clunky? He didn't trust himself to respond right away to the idea that the older Spock had, at such far removal, considered serving with himself the best advice he could give. Of course that didn't hide the fondness of his expression, a private but not-hidden happiness.
Of course, this Spock would assume that the advantages were scientific, and of course Kirk would assume they were personal. Kirk himself, who was aware of his bias, knew it probably wasn't one or the other alone.
"It's true that Mr. Spock is afforded many opportunities to explore uncharted worlds, and observe phenomena seldom viewed by our scientific minds. I think he values that very highly." He paused. It made no sense, really, to push an alternate version of oneself into a relationship that had occurred, naturally, organically. Especially if there had been a question of this man not following that path after such a destructive alteration of his own universe. They would not, Kirk understood, be the same man.
Which made Spock's advice all the more warming.
"I think he also values the... experience of living and working among like-minded but culturally diverse people," he said finally. "I found a home aboard the Enterprise I did not know I'd been missing. I cannot speak for Mr. Spock, but he has expressed his appreciation for the life he's built there, too." He shrugged slightly, a gesture which generally including his eyebrows. "But even if this older Spock is the same as the one I know, I can't say what memories he's looking back on, or what, exactly, he's come to value about his time."
Kirk knew that he was one of the things his friend valued; that Spock had learned to call him friend and to reconcile that with his Vulcan heritage in a sometimes uneasy balance. But even as he wanted the same for this man and his own counterpart, he wasn't sure it worked that way. Even if he knew he'd have been equally eager to give the same advice, were he called upon to do so.
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Spock
- Ingenious Pilot -
Apparently he's GQ?%\0\%
Posts: 142
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Post by Spock on Jun 13, 2009 14:07:15 GMT -5
((No, I don't think Spock would. He would very specifically reference the time belonging to the Spock to which he was referring every time. It just gets so tiresome! I think 'private but not hidden happiness' is SUCH a good description of a way in which Kirk reacts.))
Spock saw the warmth in the captain's reaction. He also saw that warmth was for another Spock--possibly both the others. This Kirk obviously felt friendship for the Spock of his own time; the elder Spock had felt friendship for the Kirk he had known. Both were relationships with some other version of himself, neither of which included this Spock here and now.
And judging from this Kirk's own words about relationships, the way they mirrored the elder Spock's, it was reasonable to assume this Kirk knew more about Spock's own older self than Spock did, and seemed to understand him better.
It was highly disconcerting.
"I joined Starfleet partly for reasons of cultural diversity," Spock acknowledged. "I was aware that there are certain experiences--" the pause before his world's name was barely discernable--"Vulcan could not offer. I have gained much knowledge from Starfleet, and the other beings I have encountered.
"However, after the destruction of Vulcan I have a responsibility to my people to help them rebuild our civilization and continue our race. Only a greater responsibility, to a pursuit of knowledge that would more widely benefit many civilizations, could compel me to perform otherwise. My elder self implied that . . ."
. . .it was worth it. Spock was still uncertain. He shook his head, a slight turn in a negative direction. "Vulcans do not have a word for 'home' as humans mean it. We have words for our places of origin, the places to which responsibility bind us, the spaces we occupy, spaces to which we return. But we do not establish emotional connections as humans do."
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Post by James T. Kirk on Jun 13, 2009 15:12:41 GMT -5
((Thanks! The lovely thing about writing him is that he has a host of really obvious expressions to draw from.))
Kirk wondered just what Spock's older self had implied. If Kirk read things right, this Spock was faintly embarrassed, or at the least confused, by something the other Spock had told him. It stood to reason that if the sentimentality of the advice was apparent to Kirk, that went double for the rather stern young man in front of him.
"I think I can understand that, Mr. Spock," he said quietly, even though he had no doubt in his mind that the loss of their planet had some resonance for them that went beyond the innately logical. Of course, in Kirk's sense of the universe, there was plenty of logic in a lot of emotional reactions. Which just went to show how right Mr. Spock was when he stated, rather obviously, that Kirk was not Vulcan. "Humans have an instinctive need to belong, to feel rooted. It's that instinct, along with our flexibility about it, that accounts for a large part of our success as a species. It also accounts for many of the darker periods of our history." Kirk, of course, valued his humanity--and Spock's, though he had never seriously said such a thing. He valued the ways in which Spock was not like him, as well. He was fairly certain he valued the struggle Spock had in reconciling the two, though that was slightly harder to accept.
"But though I'd never argue toward any end that involved depriving any version of myself of your companionship, Mr. Spock, it seems to me that your circumstances are very different from the older one. I hope you have your own reasons for staying."
He took another bite of the sandwich, savoring the thick, greasy mass with some enjoyment though it was tempered by the conversation they were having. He quickly decided that reprogramming the replicators for this would do him no good, as McCoy was sure to get wind of it and revoke it from his menu at any opportunity.
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Spock
- Ingenious Pilot -
Apparently he's GQ?%\0\%
Posts: 142
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Post by Spock on Jun 13, 2009 19:20:15 GMT -5
((Kirk should've gotten pudding...))
As Spock carefully picked through his salad, he watched Kirk eat. The captain's comment about not wanting to deprive his other self was fascinating. There was no reason he should care. It also did not make sense that Spock's company could have such impact on Kirk that the lack of it should deprive him, but of course Kirk had already professed an emotional attachment. What made it even more intriguing was that Spock's elder self had expressed similar feelings. It was as though both of them knew the solution to a puzzle Spock was still putting together.
They shouldn't. It was his life. But this Kirk had pointed that out too; they were not attempting to force him toward one solution or another, only providing observations as to their own experiences. There was no reason Spock should allow himself such confusion.
"I do, Captain," Spock said, still watching Kirk eat. "Although I am fairly reliant on my own judgment, my counterpart's judgment is of course not mine. Our experiences at least partly form who we are, and he is not me. I would have remained aware of this internally, but my counterpart made it manifest. He engaged in several actions which I know I myself would not perform."
Namely, lying.
Spock was used to the lack of precision and delicacy with which humans ate as opposed to Vulcans. He'd catalogued the differences to the extent that observing human diet and consumption was a task that held no interest for him. However watching the captain eat was interesting.
"When we were discussing theories of parallel universes and how they are connected, you mentioned encountering parallels yourself on previous occasions, I assume as a result of your mission aboard the Enterprise. You also referred to malfunctions resulting in the meeting of counterparts and the like. Perhaps our current circumstances merit closer examination of these events, however . . ." Spock poked at his salad. "I also confess to a theoretical curiosity. For the sake of further contemplation of parallels. More specifically, knowledge of your universe. I'm interested in what it is like there, specific phenomena of this variety you--and my other counterpart--have experienced."
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Post by James T. Kirk on Jun 13, 2009 22:38:42 GMT -5
((It was as though both of them knew the solution to a puzzle Spock was still putting together.
!! This seems so schmoopy. But <3.))
Yet, Kirk thought, but did not say. Actions you would not perform yet. Mr. Spock, in his time, had changed a great deal. Not, perhaps, in essentials, but in the way he interacted with the world. Kirk had no doubt that this Spock had a different road ahead, all things considered. Maybe the other Spock hadn't been like this as a young man, though Kirk could imagine it. The thought made him feel somewhat tender.
The thought of two almost-strangers pushing these kids together made him almost as sad as the thought that the differences in this universe might result in a loss of what they were to each other. He could well imagine his own reaction, at this Spock's age, to such pressure. And who knew if this other Kirk was like him? This Spock had no home—whatever Vulcans thought of that word. Was this other Jim Kirk him at all?
Kirk was interested in the fact that Spock had revealed dual motives for his curiosity; it struck him that he was actually interested in the conversation, as Kirk himself was. He'd always enjoyed engaging with Spock, and this man, though of course not him, was not an exception on that front.
"Most of these incidents," he said, "seem centered around the transporter. It's amazing how much we rely on it, when we know so little about what it can do. Of course once I was confronted with an android replica of myself, but that seems irrelevant to this situation--I refer to it merely for completeness. The other two such cases involved the transporter splitting my self into two bodies containing the two opposing sides of my nature. The other revealed an alternative, mirror universe, in which everything in my world had a counterpart only it had been twisted beyond recognition."
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Spock
- Ingenious Pilot -
Apparently he's GQ?%\0\%
Posts: 142
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Post by Spock on Jun 13, 2009 23:16:52 GMT -5
((You did a less than three! I win at everything.))
"Fascinating." Spock hadn't even been conscious he was going to say it; he was intensely interested by all of this. It had seemed so singular to meet his own self, and then to know another self existed in the Lorien Kirk had mentioned. However, this Kirk had already encountered two other versions of himself, plus a robot counterpart.
Due to Spock's experience with his own elder self, interest in the captain's encounters with his doubles was justified. The mirror universe was of particular interest, as it sounded the most likely to directly relate to their current situation.
But, androids.
"Few attempts at constructing androids who mirror human behavior adequately to be believed as human have been successful. Why was a replica of yourself in particular created? Surely the technology was not advanced to the extent where someone might suppose they might replace you."
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Post by James T. Kirk on Jun 13, 2009 23:32:07 GMT -5
It really shouldn't have amused him that this one said "fascinating" in the exact same tone. It really shouldn't.
"Indeed they did," Kirk confirmed. "And indeed they succeeded--for a time. The robot managed to fool a member of my crew, though I thought the differences were obvious. The android's maker was a renowned scientist who had discovered the remnants of the technology on an ancient planet. His plan was to use these androids to achieve everlasting life for humanity. That wasn't what he was doing with me--he merely wanted to keep me contained without arousing suspicion. I was able to 'program' the android during the transfer of my memories and personality to... behave in a manner that my time's Mr. Spock would know to be highly suspicious."
He paused now, his voice contemplative.
"I think, perhaps, he'd have figured it out anyway. And I think it would have taken anyone else a bit longer."
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Spock
- Ingenious Pilot -
Apparently he's GQ?%\0\%
Posts: 142
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Post by Spock on Jun 13, 2009 23:42:03 GMT -5
"Most intriguing."
Spock was interested in all of it. He wanted to know about the technology and the ancient planet. He wanted to discuss the scientist's philosophy, what would be gained by the robotic copies and what would be lost; there were metaphysical questions there that interested him.
But his curiosity over the captain's abilities and those of his own counterpart won out. "How did you program it?"
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Post by James T. Kirk on Jun 13, 2009 23:48:20 GMT -5
Kirk had the grace to look somewhat chagrined, having walked into this question with the vague presentment that he'd be called upon to address this part, and not sure this Spock would understand. Not that it was necessary for him to, only Kirk felt very strongly that he did not wish to injure this man any more than he had been already.
"I guessed that, if the machine was literally copying my thoughts and memories, that by consciously thinking about something in particular I might be able to ensure a particular response when the android copy was presented with the right stimulus. The stimulus I chose was Mr. Spock. I programmed it to insult him."
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Spock
- Ingenious Pilot -
Apparently he's GQ?%\0\%
Posts: 142
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Post by Spock on Jun 14, 2009 0:04:38 GMT -5
Spock paused very briefly as he unpeeled the citrus fruit before him.
"You have indicated the Spock of your universe has had significant opportunity to learn your habits. You respect him? Although I have only known you a matter of hours, for you to insult that Spock would strike me as out of character." Spock stacked the peels neatly, and methodically began breaking up the fruit in sections for consumption. "It would likewise seem out of character for you to insult me. Your plan was most logical, captain."
He could see the chagrin on the captain's face. It was not rational. Spock wanted him to realize this and no longer feel chagrined.
He wondered what the insult had been, but had no desire to inquire. If this Kirk was anything like his young counterpart, Spock already knew this man had the capability of speaking harsh words indeed.
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