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Post by Cry Baby on Sept 23, 2008 10:21:35 GMT -5
So, maybe he should have looked in a mirror. But he'd thought she was gone, Kris had said... He looked down.
"Got inna fight," he mumbled, cradling Killian close and grateful for the kid's calming influence, as weird as it was. "Sorry, shouldn't've come back, lookin' like this." He looked up at her hungrily from under his fallen hair, but it was only Cry-Baby's hunger. "You okay?"
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Post by Brandi on Sept 23, 2008 10:43:54 GMT -5
*Brandi calmed a bit, him looking at her like that. It meant that he wasn't hurt too badly, that it probably looked worse than it was.*
"Yeah." *She stammered. She arched a bit from the exercise, but didn't have more than a few bruises herself* "Better, with you being here."
*She caressed his lips lovingly, sucking her own without thinking.*
"I...I missed you." *Only then did she realize how much.*
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Post by Cry Baby on Sept 23, 2008 11:17:37 GMT -5
"Yeah..." Cry-Baby breathed, and it wasn't clear whether it was a question or agreement. "Missed you too, baby. I ain't..." He looked down, concentrating on Killian. "I ain't doin' so good at this."
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Post by Brandi on Sept 23, 2008 11:28:43 GMT -5
"Sshhh." *Brandi hushed, brushing her fingers tenderly through his hair. She watched him watch the child.*
"It's all right. It'll be all right." *She whispered, to herself as well as for his comfort. But would it be? There was a lot ahead of them still. Her eyes were soft.*
"You want to talk about it?" *She wasn't sure she was ready for the answer, but she knew this was taking its toll and she wanted him to have someone he could still turn to.*
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Post by Cry Baby on Sept 23, 2008 11:50:56 GMT -5
"Not really."
He shuddered. She could never know the particulars, of course, and he felt bad dumpin' even the generals on her.
"Jus'... 'm a danger. 'To myself and others.'" He'd picked that up somewhere. He couldn't remember. "I went away to figure it out, and I ain't any closer to that than when I left. I'm sorry, baby. 'm tryin'."
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Post by Brandi on Sept 23, 2008 12:02:17 GMT -5
*She shook her head.* "Shh, now. Don't you worry about that right now."
*Brandi smiled gently.* "I know what you mean. I...I went looking to help someone. To make a difference. I thought...I thought that if I could, it would unlock some piece of all this." *Her smile faded.* But all it's shown me is that I still can't change things."
*She sighed, resting her head on his shoulder as her fingers touched Killian.*
"Kinda makes me miss the blind certainty of an alleyway screw, you know?" *She managed an ironic smile.* "At least the simple nature of taking what I wanted."
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Post by Cry Baby on Sept 23, 2008 12:19:24 GMT -5
Cry-Baby stumbled back a step, caught off guard, his eyes flying up to seek her face. She knew. That angel bastard had told her, and she was mocking him--
She was smiling. She couldn't... The memory flooded back, their own alley, their own bodies, and a wave of relief washed over him. Only it didn't clean everything away. Not the guilt. Not the shame, standin' here before her lying without saying anything.
"Ain't that simple," he said, his mouth dry.
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Post by Brandi on Sept 23, 2008 12:40:14 GMT -5
"I know." *Brandi sighed, nuzzling her face into his shoulder before peeking up at him.*
"But it doesn't mean I can't want it."
*And part of her did. Wanted him at least. But like the way it used to be. When it was them and no forces working against them. Her lashes were heavy.*
"At least...something like it." *He other hand slipped down to his, lacing their fingers contentedly.*
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Post by Cry Baby on Sept 23, 2008 12:44:14 GMT -5
Cry-Baby trembled at her touch, and it wasn't desire or the urge to fight.
"Ain't been faithful to you, an' I didn't want it an' I didn't enjoy it" not really "an' you outta lock me up for my own good!"
The words came out in a rush, unbidden and unwanted but he couldn't take them back now and it seemed he couldn't hide anything to save his life.
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Post by Brandi on Sept 23, 2008 12:52:47 GMT -5
((Apparently. )) *Brandi took a step back at his outburst, mostly in surprise at its suddenness. It took her a moment to actually process the words. As she did, her lashes fluttered but she did her best to keep her chin up. It wasn't like she hadn't prepared for something like this. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't like she hadn't been tempted. If Kirk had touched her...she tried not to focus on it.* "It...it's ok, Baby. I know you didn't mean to." *Her voice wavered slightly, but she was trying. Her eyes darted about, trying to find the right words but they still eluded her.*
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Post by Cry Baby on Sept 23, 2008 13:05:49 GMT -5
"Does that matter?" he demanded. "Don't mean to do anythin', do I? Never mean to do anything, an' yet here I am. When've I ever meant anything in my life? Never had a plan. I ain't good enough for you, Brandi, and I ain't good for you..."
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Post by Brandi on Sept 23, 2008 13:20:38 GMT -5
*Brandi winced at his temper flaring, trying not to focus too hard on what he was saying. She loved him and he loved her. Why couldn't this work? It was hard, yes, but...it was worth it, right? She bit her lip, her body tightening.*
"Baby...please." *She didn't want to fight him, especially here. But it didn't mean that she wouldn't. She just didn't know how to get him to look past it.*
"What do you want? What can I do?" *She was trying to help but there was only so much that she could do. She couldn't force him to get over it. And she was trying really hard to not think about him in some other girl's bed.*
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Post by Cry Baby on Sept 23, 2008 13:37:54 GMT -5
At least his temper was contained, only his, any excess curbed by Killian's oddly restful presence in his arms. And just cause he didn't mention it all the time, didn't mean he wasn't aware that his girl had taken a step down to be with him. She was smarter an' stronger, and yeah he was a looker an' had his own set of skills, but it wasn't anything new.
"'M sorry," he mumbled. "Nothin' you can do; we knew that already. I mean, you just go on... like y'are. S'why I left, to keep you from havin' to deal with this. Just want some kinda assurance I'll be able to come back. Haven't found any."
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Post by Brandi on Sept 23, 2008 13:54:20 GMT -5
*Brandi frowned. She didn't want to, but it seemed unavoidable. Things felt so...uncertain. If she didn't have him...she didn't really have a reason to get better. And that scared her. She chewed her lip, trying not to assume. She studied the floor between them.*
"So..." *She started unsure.* "What are you saying? That..." *She swallowed, shrugging slightly.*
"...you ain't planning on staying?" *Her eyes lifted cautiously to his. There was no accusation in her voice, only worry.*
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Post by Cry Baby on Sept 23, 2008 14:01:35 GMT -5
"Well, no," he said simply. "Not when I can't trust myself at all. Thought that was the point; can't come back for good until I know I won't be hurting you. Seems like I do that anyway." He focused on Killian--it helped, and the kid had an impressive grip. "Didn't mean... what I did. An' maybe I coulda told you better."
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