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Post by Scarlett Booth on Dec 29, 2007 2:28:00 GMT -5
Dear Michael, My brother is dead. I can't quite absorb it- I can't quite believe that Fabian, who was so lively and funny, is soon to be lying six feet under in some frozen cemetary. I did make it back to say goodbye, though- I arrived just in time, and right in front of Aunt Micaela. I don't know quite what to do with myself right now. I feel so numb, but my heart hurts- it hurts so badly. I wish I could see you. I dream about seeing you- I miss you so much, Michael. I hope you're doing well, though. How's your family? And Maxim? And the horses, especially Aithne. I wish I was still there. I have to go, it's time for the funeral. All my love, Scarlett [/color]
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Post by Michael on Dec 29, 2007 2:38:28 GMT -5
A stor,
I am so sorry, Scarlett. Everyone here is fine--thriving, actually. Micaela's due to have a child in the early summer. I love you so much, Scarlett. It hurts to breathe if you're not here.
I've found some comfort in a childhood friend who showed up here. She's nothing on you, Scarlett. Don't be worried.
I love you, miurnin. -Michael
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Post by Scarlett Booth on Dec 29, 2007 2:49:23 GMT -5
Dear Michael, I'm glad that life is still going on there- it seems like time has stopped here. Everything is frozen- we all stay in the apartment, in our rooms, not speaking. Nobody eats, nobody laughs, nobody speaks, nobody sleeps...I lie on my bed every day and stare at the window at the snow, wondering if I will ever feel anything but pain ever again. The days pass so slowly here...It's as if we've all just been frozen in time, unwilling to look back or move forward. My God, sometimes I think death would be preferable to this.
When I do fall asleep, I dream only of you...and then wake up alone, cold in my room and wishing for you more than ever. I see you everywhere- I think I might be going mad.
I'm glad you've found you're childhood friend, though- I'm sure she's wonderful. I'd love to meet her, if I ever get out of this place.
With all my heart, Scarlett
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Post by Michael on Dec 29, 2007 2:54:58 GMT -5
Scarlett-
Don't you ever say that Death is preferable again. I couldn't go on if I lost you. I love you too much for that.
All my love, Michael
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Post by Scarlett Booth on Dec 29, 2007 3:00:55 GMT -5
Dear Michael, Thank God for you. If it weren't for you, I would certainly go mad. Or madder than I'm already going. And I'm trying not to jump out my window, but it's a little harder to resist every day. And I miss you more every day. I had hoped that I would miss you less as time went by, but it only makes it harder for me to face each day, knowing that I have no idea of when I'll see you again. I love you so much, Michael. With all my heart, Scarlett
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Post by Michael on Dec 30, 2007 0:05:44 GMT -5
Scarlett-
I love you, too, a rún. The only thing that keeps me from swimming over there myself is the fact that I know I'd drown on the way, and where would that put us?
Thinking only of you, a ghrá, Michael
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Post by Scarlett Booth on Dec 30, 2007 0:14:18 GMT -5
Michael, It's all gone wrong here- we have nothing left. No money at all. Daddy's working as hard as he can, but it's not enough, not enough to pay off the medical expenses, the apartment, and food. My mother can't work, and Penn can't either- they can barely talk, let alone take a job! Teddy's trying to make it at the Opera, and I've been looking everywhere for something, but no one will hire me. Nobody wants a girl to work in their stables, nobody wants me for anything- nobody, nobody, nobody. I'm trying the Opera next, I know they always need new girls for maids. Bu it's so frustrating, it makes me want to just lay down and cry or die or just sleep away the next several years, until we're back on our feet again. I wish I could write you something happy, something that would make you smile. But I can't think of anything happy- except seeing you. All my love, Scarlett
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Post by Michael on Dec 30, 2007 2:08:12 GMT -5
Scarlett--
You're a strong girl, and strong girls come from strong families. I'm sure you'll get through this. I know what it's like to have family difficulties--all the Irish do. I can only try to lend you my strength from here.
I'm saving up to see you as soon as I can, lass. Wait for me.
Love Michael
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Post by Scarlett Booth on Dec 30, 2007 2:44:46 GMT -5
Michael, Things are looking up slightly- I've finally found work. I'm to be a maid for the Blakeney family and the housekeeper for another family, and I'm also going to the Opera again soon to inquire after a position there. I'm determined to work as many jobs as I can- I'm going to get us back on our feet again. And I'm setting away a little bit- only a little, I'm afraid- to come and see you. I pray that the days go faster now- that every hour brings us closer to the time when we'll see each other again. All my love, Scarlett
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Post by Michael on Dec 30, 2007 3:00:53 GMT -5
Scarlett--
Don't overwork yourself, love. You can't do everything yourself, and you can't do it immediately. Just be patient.
Love, Michael
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Post by Scarlett Booth on Dec 30, 2007 3:03:32 GMT -5
Michael, I don't think I have much of a choice, really. I have to help my family. I have to put the pieces back together. And I need to see you- my God, I need to see you soon. And I was never one for patience. All my love, Scarlett
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Post by Micaela on Dec 30, 2007 17:20:13 GMT -5
**MICHAEL**
Scarlett-
You'll see me soon, Love. I promised, remember?
Love, Michael
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Post by Scarlett Booth on Dec 30, 2007 17:40:39 GMT -5
Michael, Sorry I haven't written for a little while, I've been busy running between my apartment, the apartment I'm housekeeping, and the estate, trying to keep up the cleaning and everything I'm being paid for as well as helping out at home. But it's getting easier to get from place to place, and now that my mother is feeling slightly better she's been keeping up our apartment, so soon it won't be so important for me to rush home to check one everyone and feed them all before running back out. But how are you, Michael? That's what I really want to know. I want to know everything about you and Manderley and the horses and the people you know and your family...so tell me. How are you? What's going on up there? And I'm holding you to that promise. The prospect of seeing you is the only thing keeping me going. All my love, Scarlett
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Post by Michael on Jan 3, 2008 14:43:31 GMT -5
My Beloved Scarlett--
I regret to say that this is the last letter I'll be able to write, a ghrá mo chroí. I've made many mistakes in my life, and none have I regretted more bitterly than this most recent one.
I've hurt my best friend, Kathy, and the circumstances require that I now marry her. It hurts me more than I can express to have to hurt you this way, Scarlett. I still hope, with every fiber of my being, that you can find it in your heart to forgive me--I may never be able to forgive myself.
I will still be saving to try to get you here, a ghrá. But now, most of my money will have to go to my own family.
I love you, Scarlett, and will continue to do so until the end of time. More than you will ever know.
Sorrowfully and forever yours, Michael Conor MacNamara
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Post by Scarlett Booth on Jan 3, 2008 16:19:02 GMT -5
*The envelope that arrived back was stuffed full of all the letters he'd written her, a ring on a chain, and a tiny scrap of paper.*
I believe these belong to you. They were once given to me in love but I see now that it was false- and so my ownership of them is also false. Scarlett Booth
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