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Post by Megan on Jul 24, 2014 12:28:10 GMT -5
"...a long string of stuff. I don't really want to go into it," she said carefully, glancing away. She didn't want to come off like she was trying to play misery dicks with a girl whose adoptive family had been killed by her own brother.
Even Nina's reasons for being miserable were better than Megan's. Naturally.
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Post by Nina Fortner on Jul 24, 2014 12:32:05 GMT -5
"I'm sorry, I don't mean to pressure you-" she said quickly. "I know how it is to not want to talk about something."
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Post by Megan on Jul 24, 2014 12:36:07 GMT -5
"...how do you do it?" Megan asked slowly, glancing back at her. "How did you manage to stay so... normal and functioning, even after- I mean, if you feel comfortable saying-"
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Post by Nina Fortner on Jul 24, 2014 12:44:08 GMT -5
"Because I already knew how," she said bluntly, wondering if her face betrayed any emotion, or if it was as inhumanly blank as she felt. "I learned it a long time ago. How to... selectively perform, or underperform. Adrian tells me he did the same thing- but, I'm sorry. You don't want to speak of Adrian."
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Post by Megan on Jul 24, 2014 13:01:40 GMT -5
"Oh," Megan said, with a little touch of mistaken commiseration. Nina's phrasing had been vague enough, and Megan's experience comparatively limited enough, that she made a very different connection in her mind. "Yeah, I guess I get that. I've just never been very good at pretending everything's okay- or that I'm okay, for that matter- myself."
She laughed brittlely.
"I had this brief, brief period, from when I was like 19 to about a year ago where I thought, wow, look, I'm turning into a real person after all, you know? And now it's like... well."
She gestured at herself.
"...look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hit you with all of this, and I know it doesn't excuse how I treated you this morning, but... there's a lot on my plate right now. My body keeps finding new ways of turning on me, my head's... not doing much better, to tell you the truth, and... ugh. This is so childish of me, but just... the idea that maybe you feel the same way, but you're better at hiding it? Even that's hard not to resent a little. But I do get that that's not something you should have to deal from from me. I'm sorry."
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Post by Nina Fortner on Jul 24, 2014 13:19:26 GMT -5
"I deserve worse things from the world than your resentment," she said simply. Listening to Megan was easy; listening was one of Nina's strong suits. Of course, knowing Adrian, and his ability to listen just as intently with just as open an expression, and then turn around and be, well, Adrian in private, that might not be reassuring to Megan.
She offered a tired smile.
"I'm not always good at hiding it. Bless Curt; I think I cry almost every time we are alone together. He must be truly uncomfortable with it."
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Post by Megan on Jul 24, 2014 13:23:10 GMT -5
"Don't start that. Nobody deserves to feel like this- just because that's what they want us to feel-"
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Post by Nina Fortner on Jul 24, 2014 13:24:19 GMT -5
Nina cocked her head, watching Megan, not following at first, but thinking she began to.
"It's not like that."
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Post by Megan on Jul 24, 2014 13:29:16 GMT -5
"Or- or whatever it is," Megan said dismissively. "I mean, if you're not a real person or you think you deserve this, where does that leave me-" She was starting to cry, but even that was a small victory. Tears of conviction were preferable to bursting into flames any day.
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Post by Nina Fortner on Jul 24, 2014 13:40:11 GMT -5
Nina reached out, but hesitated to actually take Megan by the hand. Then she realized it might be taken as a fear that Megan would hurt her, so she did it anyway. She'd rather Megan shrug off her hand in discomfort than feel she'd repelled her.
"You're not like me," she said kindly. Her voice and face were kind - she did not know how Megan would take it. "Adrian, my brother and I, we're nothing like you. You've been hurt, affected, maybe, but you weren't made-" She cut off, suddenly out of breath. Her hand grew limp. She didn't see anything visual, not really, but it felt as though she had suddenly became aware of the monster in her dreams standing in the hallway with them.
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Post by Megan on Jul 24, 2014 14:12:51 GMT -5
"Made to...?"
Megan frowned, but when she saw Nina's blank stare, she stopped.
"...you don't have to tell me. It's okay."
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Post by Nina Fortner on Jul 24, 2014 14:24:04 GMT -5
She thought Adrian would be mad if she told Megan, but Megan was already carrying a much bigger secret of his. Remembering that made her trust her on a mad whim.
"We're only here because of genetic engineering. He hasn't told you yet, has he? He only just found out. I told him."
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Post by Megan on Jul 24, 2014 14:44:01 GMT -5
Megan glanced her over hesitantly.
"...okay, but you're... You are human, right? Ugh, sorry, that came out wrong-"
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Post by Nina Fortner on Jul 24, 2014 15:08:08 GMT -5
"What's human about that?" she asked, eyes bright and intense. "I'm sure he's spent his life lying to himself and everyone that it is just willpower that makes him what he is, and now he knows it isn't. And I... I think I already knew. It's one thing to be born different, but it's another to be made - to be made so that a genocidal regime would have perfect little white supremacist soldiers."
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Post by Megan on Jul 24, 2014 15:18:33 GMT -5
Megan stared at her for a moment.
"...but you're not," she said, maybe a little insistently. "I mean- that doesn't- It explains a lot, but-"
She shook her head.
"You've heard about Captain America, right? I mean, Adrian's ex is dating him, you must have- everybody knows that he's only what he is because the guy the Nazis forced to develop the formula escaped and gave it to the Americans. What makes him so different from you besides who he was pointed at?"
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