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Post by Shadi on Feb 18, 2009 12:01:54 GMT -5
"Is that what you were doing?" she said. "Not dwelling on the past?" But she had to look at him. She couldn't help it. It made her feel both better and worse.
"So what should I do... instead?"
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Post by Rochester on Feb 18, 2009 12:16:18 GMT -5
*It was better to see her face. It warmed Rochester's heart and strengthened his resolve, in spite of his insecurities. His grip loosened slightly, his hands slipping softly down her arms to find her hands.*
"Well...I don't know if I have the answer to that." *He replied honestly.* "But I know that I'm not ready to go back to not having you in my life. I think we'd both do well for a spot of rest. It'll give us some time to...process things." *The words started to stick a little, but he managed through them.*
"And then we can see about sorting out what you'd like to do. All right?"
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Post by Shadi on Feb 18, 2009 12:42:52 GMT -5
Shadi bit her lip, afraid of what might come out of her mouth unbidden. Hope--or something suspiciously like it--flared for a moment, then died back. He couldn't be saying...
"What do you mean?" she asked cautiously. His hands felt warm, and she wondered if hers felt cold to him. "You can't still... after everything... I can't atone for what I've done. When Nadir told me..."
She shuddered.
"I wanted to die. Even if he was lying--thank god he was--he wasn't wrong about... about what I did."
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Post by Rochester on Feb 18, 2009 12:59:38 GMT -5
*Wait. Was there something else? Rochester was forced to clear his throat before he could continue.*
"What you did?" *He asked cautiously, trying to sound more interested than worried. But he was worried. Who knows what had happened in the time they'd spent apart?*
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Post by Shadi on Feb 18, 2009 13:12:37 GMT -5
"He told me it was my fault. That when I left, you... But you didn't, did you?" She wasn't making much sense, but she couldn't seem to marshal her thoughts. "He made me see I was wrong to leave, when I lo-- But you're not dead. I didn't kill you."
She gripped his hands unconsciously. "It wasn't so[/b] bad, was it?"
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Post by Rochester on Feb 18, 2009 13:29:18 GMT -5
*Rochester licked his lips slowly, trying to think before he talked. It wasn't something that came all that natural to him.*
"I think...you did what you felt you had to. And I'm sorry, for the part that I played in that."
*The faintest hope flickered in his eyes.*
"But since I think we're both pretty confident that I'm not dead, we can agree that you didn't have anything to do with my untimely demise." *He joked gently.*
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Post by Shadi on Feb 18, 2009 13:46:36 GMT -5
"No, I suppose not," Shadi said. "But you're far too kind, Rochester, for your own good. I would be furious with me, if I were you, and I'd deserve it, too." He was acting like nothing was wrong, nothing broken. Like... No, he was merely being polite. She had no hope of regaining that bliss she'd found with him. Not now. They would part as... friends? Former lovers? And she would continue at the circus, and never take a lover again.
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Post by Rochester on Feb 18, 2009 13:55:23 GMT -5
*Rochester squeezed her hands gently. They were cold. Not surprising with the little she'd been wearing. He forced the thought back.*
"Then I suppose it's good for you that I'm me instead." *His smile faded slightly.*
"Shadi...no matter what happens, I just don't want to rush into a decision. I think...I think we both need some time."
*His brow lifted, eyes sincere.*
"But I'd rather that time be around you. If that's all right."
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Post by Shadi on Feb 18, 2009 14:02:39 GMT -5
"That's..." Shadi let out a breath she'd been holding in a sigh. "That's all right," she agreed, still shaken and confused, not the least reason for which was her tentative happiness. She shuddered. "But I'm not going back to his house. I'm not speaking to him ever again, and I don't want anything to do with him." Of course, she herself had nothing but a tent to her name.
"Maybe we can just... meet. Places. For awhile." He wasn't asking her to move in again--that was a decision they couldn't rush, after all. He was just asking her not to run away again. That lesson, at least, she thought she'd learned.
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Post by Rochester on Feb 18, 2009 14:25:26 GMT -5
*He sighed softly, pursing his lips in a moment of caution.*
"I was actually thinking a suite. After all, you'd have your own room and I..."
Wouldn't have to worry about who's bed you were in.
"I'd be next door."
*He swallowed.* "Unless that's too much for you."
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Post by Shadi on Feb 18, 2009 14:31:14 GMT -5
Shadi blinked at him for a moment.
"You'd do that?" she asked quietly. "Start over... put me up... After everything? You sure that's what you want?"
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Post by Rochester on Feb 18, 2009 14:39:05 GMT -5
*Rochester arched a characteristic brow.*
"Darling, I may be a bit off my rocker, but have you ever known me to not know what I want?"
*He smiled gently, only hoping she'd accept.*
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Post by Shadi on Feb 18, 2009 14:46:56 GMT -5
"No," she said slowly. Then again, she'd known him to want things that weren't good for him.
But she thought maybe it was time to stop making decisions like that for him.
"All right," she said, finally, not sure where to look. "I... I accept."
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Post by Rochester on Feb 18, 2009 14:57:56 GMT -5
*Rochester let out a sigh of relief.*
"Darling, that is the best news I've had in weeks."
*He wanted to kiss her, to take her up in his arms and smother away any other thought but her. But he figured that would hardly help things. So he tried to calm himself, siting back a little but not releasing her hands.*
"It shouldn't be too far." *He assured her.*
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Post by Shadi on Feb 18, 2009 15:08:32 GMT -5
She didn't understand him. How he could be so forgiving. She glanced out the window.
"Where are we going?" she asked. "You didn't have this planned."
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