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Post by Aurel on Jan 13, 2009 11:36:30 GMT -5
Aurel looked up at Nicolas, surprised to see him there - as usual. He had gotten used to the fact that Nicolas wasn't around that much, and that didn't really bother him at all. As long as he didn't do anything too stupid, he didn't mind him.
Aurel didn't exactly know what this Armand-fellow meant to Nicolas. Only that he seemed important to him. Nicolas didn't talk much at all, actually, about himself or anyone else for that matter. Aurel was very curious of Armand, it seemed like he was someone he should have met. Closing his book, wondering if Nicolas would tell him more of the subject, he snapped his fingers at a servant nearby who quickly fetched him two glasses of blood. Aurel offered one to Nicolas. "Please, do go on" he urged him.
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Post by Nicolas de Lenfent on Jan 13, 2009 11:41:26 GMT -5
Nicolas sat in one of the library's chairs, still unaccustomed to the hospitality but not made awkward by it. He had not at all grown used to it, and it seemed incongruous every time, confusing him.
"He has caught me at my game. Have I told you yet - that I am the phantom killer in all the papers?" He spoke rather absently, sipping occasionally. It was cold. It was always cold. It seemed like it was an acquired, aristocratic vampire taste that Nicolas could not get used to. It might have been very posh in some society, but Nicolas liked not belonging to mortal society too much to want to belong to the immortal. "Armand detests it. He was sure to stop me eventually, but he has been avoiding me." Nicolas made a face; whether it was the blood or the sentence he'd said was uncertain, probably to himself as well. "He caught me a few nights ago and hauled me to the tower." He didn't know it, but a smile'd come into his lips. He glanced down at the floor, but didn't seem to be seeing it. "He has asked me to stay with him. I want to. I don't imagine this inconveniences you any."
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Post by Aurel on Jan 13, 2009 12:01:34 GMT -5
Aurel had his suspiscions of Nicolas being the phantom killer - he was surely very kapable of it. Maybe Armand was, as he seemed to be an much older vampire than Nicolas, of the same mind as Aurel - the killings should be done discretely. Maybe it was good that Armand stopped him; Aurel didn't care enough to do so.
But claiming he was totally careless would be lying - somehow it bothered him a little that Nicolas didn't want to stay at his castle anymore. He knew that him staying somewhere else wouldn't make much of a difference of the situation they were in presently, but still. He was a little annoyed.
He frowned as he noticed Nicolas's dreamy look on his face. Who exactly was this Armand, that usually made someone like Nicolas smile like that? Aurel felt his curiousity of Armand grow slightly.
"You do as you please." he finally said.
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Post by Nicolas de Lenfent on Jan 13, 2009 12:39:49 GMT -5
Nicolas glanced up after a moment, a delayed response, although he had done so the moment he had understood what it was Aurel had said. He smiled more easily, a little quirk of the lips as though this statement had somehow, playfully, amused him. That Armand wanted him to stay - for whatever inconceivable reason - had considerably lightened his spirits, and although Nicolas occasionally found himself in a rare good mood on his own, this was a great deal lighter than usual.
"It's got nothing to do with pleasure," said Nicolas, believing what he said even though he was clearly extremely pleased. "As though Armand is ever a pleasure. It's almost more of a necessity. I suppose. Do you get that?"
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Post by Aurel on Jan 14, 2009 16:00:50 GMT -5
"Of course I get it, I'm not stupid" Aurel hissed, sounding very chilish - something that was rare for him. Of course he knew that somethings are necessary - but it was long ago he felt that way. He didn't care for most of the time, nowadays, about anything. Maybe that was one of the reasons he felt surprised by his reactions toward Nicolas's behaviour and comments. He had a hard time understanding why he cared about him at all. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he hadn't met anyone as radical as him for a very long time.
"Why do you need him so badly?" Aurel blurted out, realising his curiosity might be very inapropriate. Though he did want to know the answer, he decided not to care too much of politeness.
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Post by Nicolas de Lenfent on Jan 14, 2009 16:12:28 GMT -5
Nicolas looked extremely surprised and taken aback by this, which brought out the more boyish elements of his face, of his youthfulness, and made him look much less like a generally-insane, sometimes-violently-hysterical vampire than he actually was.
"I - " He couldn't think of what the answer was, and his lips parted, eyes following Aurel, but mind not following in the least. His brow creased. "Because... " He tried to articulate it to himself. It seemed so plain and obvious as to not need an explanation. "Because I do," he said, frustrated, mostly with his inability to articulate it. The fact was that he stabilized Nicolas greatly, even if Nicolas was not longer so infatuated as he'd once been, even a very large fraction of it. "Do you think I can take care of myself?"
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Post by Aurel on Jan 16, 2009 8:48:01 GMT -5
Aurel bursted out into laughter, a sound that to most people would seem just plain mean and insulting. But that was Aurel to you - what he the things he said sounded like and the meaning behind them might hold completely different meanings. Some of the times, at least.
When Aurel stopped laughing, he eyed Nicolas with a grin on his face. "No I don't think you can take care of yourself - now. But has the thought never struck you that you might be able to learn how to make it on your own?"
Aurel stood up, while putting his emptied glass on a table, and continued:
"I'm not saying it's a bad thing needing somebody. But I do believe that things won't last forever - not even for creatures like us. Things might change one day, and I for one am greatful to know that I am more than capable to do just fine, even if the ones I care about aren't around anymore."
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Post by Nicolas de Lenfent on Jan 16, 2009 10:20:19 GMT -5
Nicolas frowned, slightly surly, but not really put off by what would have been unforgivably rude to a great many other people. After all, he often behaved with similar insolence and occasional insanity, and therefore even a response he couldn't have predicted did not bother him all that much. In fact, had he not been rather sullen about it, he might have been more comfortable than usual, as it did take a certain amount of comfort to hold his insolent posture.
"Do you think I care?" he said, mouth petulant, but tone a little less so. He seemed prepared to continue talking on the subject, and looked at Aurel as though seeing him differently in an unconscious way. "Not to be contrary. Do you really think I have any survival instinct, that I would choose independence? You know..." His voice softened. "If I didn't need Armand, he would not want me around."
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Post by Aurel on Jan 17, 2009 7:43:11 GMT -5
Aurel stared at Nicolas, his eyes hard and cold. Almost judgemental.
"Yes, I do believe that you care. Somewhere in the back of your twisted mind, you do care for him. And I find it hard to understand how you can care at all? Doesn't it seem unfair that he only wants you, because he knows that you desperately need him? What will happen if you don't need him anymore? Will he just throw you away, like an old and broken toy?"
Aurel knew the pain of needing someone too much, now unwillingly remembering how his one true love had rejected him, for merely being what he was. A killer. A monster. The pain he had felt when Ciel, the mother of his child, had looked at him with fear in her eyes. Fear - and disgust. It was unbearable. After that, he had become even more cruel and monstrous for a while, then - when Lune had grown up a bit - he had tried to be more sophisticated. He refused to see the same look in his daughter's eyes.
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Post by Nicolas de Lenfent on Jan 19, 2009 21:22:53 GMT -5
Nicolas stared at him in a big of confusion, which was thankful, because he might have broken something if he had been in the state of mind to hear and react to the last words Aurel had spoken.
"I mean about survival," said Nicolas after a noticeable pause, almost sounding disgusted although not with something in particular, in a petulant sort of fashion. "I meant do you think I care about surviving. I told you, didn't I tell you, I've gone into the fire before." He stared at him, tilting his head, suddenly finding something oddly comforting in his eyes - not quite consciously, not really knowing what it was. Some unconscious childhood memory, maybe?
Nicolas did not usually feel a strong instinct to confide - at least not with those for whom he did not care - but felt it then very suddenly, almost too suddenly to articulate anything he wanted to say. "I asked Armand to build the fire," he said, eyebrows slightly furrowed as he looked back at him, lips parted like a child's even when he wasn't speaking. "And he did. So you see, I've needed him for... everything. Even... things that aren't to do with survival. And I know that he can live without me." He was growing more and more confused, which was not uncommon for him. "But isn't that right? How could you need someone who needed you? It only goes one way."
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Post by Aurel on Jan 20, 2009 14:28:09 GMT -5
Aurel was about to keep arguing of how Nicolas doesn't need anyone to be able to survive - that ability was something he had himself. But he kept quiet, realising there was no use in arguing with him on this matter.
He had no idea that Armand had biuld the fire that Nicolas... He wanted to ask Nicoals more of his past, but it wasn't his business, and he Nicolas wouldn't tell him much more than this.
"It doesn't only go one way", Aurel said when he finally spoke. "Surely you must you have heard of the word love? He glared at Nicolas, not sure that someone this complexe had known love at all. "Don't you love someone, Nicolas?"
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Post by Nicolas de Lenfent on Jan 20, 2009 14:43:04 GMT -5
Nicolas was almost disappointed - and certainly a little frustrated - when, rather than asking more or giving some show of his listening - Aurel took a long time to reply, but he managed to stay silent and not speak on this. And when Aurel did speak, all thought of previous agitation left his mind, preoccupied as it was with this new development.
Nicolas shot him a dark, sullen look. "Please don't address me as though I am a child. Regardless of whether or not my apparent lack of self-sufficiency makes you think I am one," he said coldly. "All right. So saying it goes one way is an oversimplification. But I doubt its equality. There are different ways to love. Someone who is, as it goes, 'the god of your idolatry' might, and doubtless will, maintain a suitable distance between the pair of you. What? - did you think the last person you loved loved you half as much?" As he said this, it occurred to him that Aurel was not the sort of person, he thought, who loved that obsessively, and went on, "Or perhaps you did not realize that you were not returning that sentiment to the same degree in which they gave it."
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Post by Aurel on Jan 20, 2009 14:54:58 GMT -5
Aurel's green eyes narrowed as he snarled viscously. "I will not stop seing you as a child as long as you act like one." He walked over to Nicolas, his body tensed, almost ready to throw himself at him. "Do not ever speak of that again!"
In the blink of an eye, he was at him, grabbing him harshly and shoving him into the wall. "You little brat. You don't know anything. Not anything about me or what I have gone through", Aurel hissed. His voice was as cold as ice, yet, for a short second, there was a flash in his eyes that showed an unbearable amount of sorrow and pain. It disappeared as quickly as it had shown, and his eyes were cold and hard once more.
He released Nicolas, taking a step back. He tried to calm down, but he still stared angrily at him. "Not all of us are without love", he growled. "Not all of us are as twisted as you."
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Post by Nicolas de Lenfent on Jan 20, 2009 15:09:48 GMT -5
Nicolas stayed against the wall, looking at Aurel as though in alarm and confusion. Eventually just agitation won out, and he parted his lips as though to speak, then put his teeth together and grimaced, eyes flashing with a bit of fire. Nicolas could take an enormous amount of abuse and not react poorly - as would probably continue to be shown if Aurel in future continued to treat him with any physical violence. But little things - like Armand's calling him by the nickname Lestat had had for him - could sting more sharply than others.
After a moment, Nicolas spoke, touching his lip with his tongue as though trying to remove a bad taste. "And why would you think you knew anything about me?" He said, stepped forward and shoving Aurel back with one hand on the last word, giving him one look before turning away, having continued to walk away after he had stepped forward.
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Post by Aurel on Jan 27, 2009 15:47:38 GMT -5
"True, I might not know that much of your history. But whatever happened to you, must have made you this..." Aurel started, wanting to say something utterly insulting, but stopped himself, "...this way." He snorted, and continued. "Surely you must know that you stand out. I'd not say you blend in among humans,nor vampires. You look too wild."
Aurel had succeeded to calm down a bit. Now he wouldn't throw himself at Nicolas, but he still was a bit pissed off. He sighed and shook his head. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came. He stared at Nicolas again.
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