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Post by Cry Baby on Jan 13, 2009 15:55:19 GMT -5
"Sure it did, but don't that seem like the perfect trick?" he demanded. "That's just what I would do if I was... them." He didn't even know who "them" was, except Hedonism. And whatever other forces were screwing around with them.
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Post by Brandi on Jan 13, 2009 15:59:32 GMT -5
*Her eyes darkened, trying to follow his logic. It didn't sound like Hedonism (it had too much subterfuge) but that didn't mean that he didn't have a point. Brandi was quiet, finally whispering as if something might break if she spoke too loudly.*
"But...how can I make it better? I just don't want you to feel..." *She searched for the word.* "...like you can't be with me."
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Post by Cry Baby on Jan 13, 2009 16:42:54 GMT -5
"How can I be with you if I'm gonna doubt, every time, why?" he pleaded. "If I can't trust myself. I love you baby, an' I know that. I feel it as deep as anyone ever has. But I'm all turned around..."
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Post by Brandi on Jan 13, 2009 16:51:43 GMT -5
*Well that didn't help anything. It didn't give her anything she could do. Brandi chewed her lip, trying to find something on her own. Unsuccessful, she queried him gently, worried that she was only making it worse.*
"So turned around...you don't want to stay here? I mean, if I promised to be good...to keep to myself..." *She started to babble. She just didn't want him on the street. It seemed so much worse, not knowing.*
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Post by Cry Baby on Jan 13, 2009 17:03:22 GMT -5
"Tried that before," he said, kicking at some discarded clothing on the floor. "Ain't worth it. I just want to know. For certain. Can't live guessin'... Don't you know what I mean?" He looked up, guardedly but wanting so much for her to understand what he couldn't articulate. The doubt that the past months had beaten into him--or perhaps it was that self-assurance had been beaten out.
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Post by Brandi on Jan 13, 2009 17:14:49 GMT -5
*Brandi wanted to pull him back into her arms. To prove to him that this was all right, but...she just wasn't sure. Swallowing slowly, she nodded.*
"I...I understand. But..." *Her lashes fluttered as she tried to explain.* "...how can we know?"
*She'd happily work towards a solution if only there was one to be had.*
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Post by Cry Baby on Jan 13, 2009 17:16:30 GMT -5
Cry-Baby shrugged, his hand shoved deep in his pockets.
"I ain't the brains of the operation," he said. "Only know what a powerful, overwhelming feelin' it is, bein' with you. An' maybe it used to scare me, before, but it sure scares me now."
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Post by Brandi on Jan 13, 2009 17:22:55 GMT -5
*Brandi's lip quivered, threatening tears, but she did all she could to keep her voice steady.*
"I...I don't want to scare you." *She breathed. Maybe she should go...somewhere else. Find an answer. Figure out how to prove to Cry-Baby that things could be ok. But how could she prove something like that?*
"I can...I'll look for a way..." *She forced herself to swallow.*
"Just...stay."
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Post by Cry Baby on Jan 13, 2009 17:30:40 GMT -5
He was glad his hands were in his pockets, because he was afraid they might be shaking. "Don't wanna feel this doubt after touchin' you. Means too much to me, baby. You know what I'm sayin'?"
His dark eyes implored her.
"I'll stay if you want. Do anything you say."
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Post by Brandi on Jan 13, 2009 17:37:43 GMT -5
*Brandi nodded tightly.*
"I think I do. I just...I can't bear the thought of you out there...no place to go. I want you safe. And if that means that...you can't be around me, I'm doing my best to understand."
*She slid off the bed and pulled on a robe that hung on the wardrobe. Trying to be strong, she cleared her throat.*
"You think...I mean, you and Kris...you can handle the kids and the place for a while?" *Her lips were starting to tremble, even as she begged them to stop.*
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Post by Cry Baby on Jan 13, 2009 17:40:32 GMT -5
Without thinking, in two strides he was at her side, his hand gently gripping her wrist.
"You ain't goin'." It wasn't a question, but it wasn't a command, either. It was, actually, very uncertain.
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Post by Brandi on Jan 13, 2009 17:51:22 GMT -5
*Brandi's eyes fell in surprise to his hand on her wrist. It looked, strange. She licked her lips, but didn't move to pull away.*
"Baby...you said you couldn't risk being around me. That you need an answer." *Her voice quaked slightly.* "And I'm not going to find that answer here. You'll do fine. I believe in you."
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Post by Cry Baby on Jan 13, 2009 18:02:21 GMT -5
He couldn't explain his agitation.
"I don't want to chase you out," he said. "If it's my problem, it's me that needs to deal with it. If this is you needin' a break, that's one thing. But if I'm pushing you away... I know I am."
His face dropped, hair falling over his eyes. "Don't know how to solve this," he said. "I only know whatever I do, I'm hurtin' you."
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Post by Brandi on Jan 13, 2009 18:12:45 GMT -5
"It's our problem." *Brandi clarified, strangely logical.* "I...I don't need a break. I just need...I need you to know...whatever it is you need to know. So you can trust me again. Trust us."
*She lifted her hand instinctively to his cheek but hovered near it, not touching him.*
"We both hurt. Please...give me a few days. I'll go to the Mors. See if I can sort some things out."
*She bent her head, trying to catch his gaze.*
"Ok?" *She looked hopeful. Or at least tried to.*
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Post by Cry Baby on Jan 13, 2009 18:14:49 GMT -5
He looked up.
"'Course I trust you," he said softly. "Don't trust..." He frowned, unable to put it into words. Being with her had been glorious. But the thought that it might not be real, after, had ruined it.
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