King Orduag
- In the Duggins -
The King is I!!!
Posts: 78
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Post by King Orduag on Feb 27, 2008 17:42:45 GMT -5
*King Orduag was sitting on his chair, fuming. He had a big bump in his head, and he couldn't remember how he had gotten it. And lovely Leetah was nowhere to be seen. He caressed his ring, talking to it.*
"Women! We don't need them, do we, my precious?"
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Post by Steerpike on Feb 27, 2008 17:44:51 GMT -5
Steerpike slowly entered the room, from behind Orduag.
"Hello, Your Majesty," he said softly.
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King Orduag
- In the Duggins -
The King is I!!!
Posts: 78
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Post by King Orduag on Feb 27, 2008 17:47:04 GMT -5
*King Orduag rolled his eyes. Why could the blasted servants never leave him in peace....*
"Hello, servant! Why aren't you out in the kitchen doing the dishes? I especially ordered Nessa to serve me my meal today. Where the HELL is she?"
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Post by Steerpike on Feb 27, 2008 17:49:39 GMT -5
"I am not your kitchen boy," Steerpike said calmly, running his hand along the length of his stick. "I have never been your servant, your toady, or your friend."
He leaned forward and whispered in Orduag's ear, "But I am something far more important."
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King Orduag
- In the Duggins -
The King is I!!!
Posts: 78
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Post by King Orduag on Feb 27, 2008 17:53:00 GMT -5
*King Orduag turned to him and looked him coldly in the eyes.*
"Really, sharkbait? And what would that be?"
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Post by Steerpike on Feb 27, 2008 17:57:45 GMT -5
"Your successor," Steerpike said softly.
He reached into the front of his jacket, produced a large kitchen knife, and, while emitting an almost animalistic growl, drove it into Orduag's chest.
Blood spurted forth, running down the length of the knife. Steerpike pulled out and smashed it in again, only to pull it out, twisting it as he did so.
Steerpike struck the back of Orduag's head with his stick, knocking the larger man to the floor. He put a boot-clad leg on Orduag's bleeding chest and stomped hard.
"You're going to die, you miserable piece of filth," he said gently. "You have maybe a few hours left. A few hours of pain. How does that sound?"
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King Orduag
- In the Duggins -
The King is I!!!
Posts: 78
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Post by King Orduag on Feb 27, 2008 18:01:57 GMT -5
*The king slumped over his desk, coughing blood when his chest was pierced by the knife. He felt the most incredible pain he had ever felt in all his life.*
"You... worthless.... piece.... of filth...... you won't get.....away with..... this....." *He hissed*
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Post by Steerpike on Feb 27, 2008 18:09:04 GMT -5
"You have two alternatives, Your Majesty," said Steerpike, still sounding for all the world as though he were merely a retainer listing the day's events. "I can throw you somewhere where it will take them weeks to find you, and let you perish in misery and anonymity. Or- and this is the intelligent choice, if I may say so- you may take up a pen and some parchment, declare me your legal successor above all others, and I shall kill you quickly. No more pain. What do you say?"
Smiling mildly, he flung Orduag onto his stomach and gave him a piece of parchment and a quill from the King's desk.
"Pity. No ink."
Steerpike nearly turned for a bottle, but suddenly smiled.
"Look at all of that blood. Far more economical than ink. Dries faster, too."
He held the tip of the stick at the back of Orduag's head.
"Now write. And do mind your spelling."
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King Orduag
- In the Duggins -
The King is I!!!
Posts: 78
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Post by King Orduag on Feb 27, 2008 18:14:47 GMT -5
*King Orduag frowned and grabbed the pen, knowing that his name on a document was worthless.*
"Ok, I'll write, you worthless piece of s**t!"
*He wrote something on the piece of paper. In Elvish.*
"So. Happy?"
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Post by Steerpike on Feb 27, 2008 18:21:35 GMT -5
"Let's see that in English," Steerpike snarled.
Leaning closer, he whispered, "My threat still stands. Don't you know I can see what you wrote?"
He picked it up.
"'I am slain'," he read from the Elvish script. "How clever you are. How clever!"
He stamped on Orduag's back again.
"Do it properly this time!"
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King Orduag
- In the Duggins -
The King is I!!!
Posts: 78
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Post by King Orduag on Feb 27, 2008 18:24:04 GMT -5
*King Orduag whimpered in pain.*
"All right, all right. I am writing!"
*He wrote again. In English this time.*
"But the English language is not legal here in Lorien..."
*He said with an evil grin*
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Post by Steerpike on Feb 27, 2008 18:25:56 GMT -5
"Then write it in Elvish!"
He stomped on the fingers of the hand the king didn't use to write.
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King Orduag
- In the Duggins -
The King is I!!!
Posts: 78
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Post by King Orduag on Feb 27, 2008 18:32:25 GMT -5
*King Orduag gritted his teeth*
"Blasted boy. Can't you make your mind up?"
*He wrote on the paper again, this time in Elvish.*
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Post by Steerpike on Feb 27, 2008 18:39:24 GMT -5
"That's more like it," Steerpike said lightly, picking up the parchment and reading it aloud in English. "'I hereby declare...' hmmm, yes... 'surpassing all other claimants', yes, that's what I wanted..."
He looked back at the king and smiled.
"Thank you for your cooperation, Your former Majesty."
And with that, he drove the end of his stick into the back of Orduag's skull.
Within a minute or so, the king was dead.
"Long live the King," Steerpike sighed.
He looked around at the mess and sighed.
"He attacked me," he muttered. "Yes. He attacked me."
Steerpike folded the parchment and buried it in Orduag's desk, under a pile of innocent-looking papers, calmly tucked the quill back in its holder.
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Queen Tearbird
- Ingenious Pilot -
Someone's been very naughty...
Posts: 182
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Post by Queen Tearbird on Feb 27, 2008 18:43:06 GMT -5
*Queen Tearbird stood in the side doorway, mouth agape. What she'd just seen...she had not the words. All she could manage was a small gasp.*
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