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Post by Will Shakespeare on May 11, 2007 15:46:16 GMT -5
*Will rolled his eyes as he slung one of Richard's arms over his shoulder. He sighed and pursed his lips.*
"As a general rule...most women don't want you talking about other men in a sexual connotation with them. That goes double if they're related. They might start questioning your...you know..."
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Post by Richard on May 11, 2007 15:47:17 GMT -5
"My what?" said Richard.
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Post by Will Shakespeare on May 11, 2007 15:48:44 GMT -5
*Will sighed.*
"They might think that you prefer men. Like your brother. Naked. Really naked. In bed."
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Post by Richard on May 11, 2007 15:51:20 GMT -5
Richard's eyes grew larger, which only emphasized how small they actually were in comparison to the rest of his face, as well as the unequal dilation of his pupils.
"Naked in bed?" he said curiously. "I had a friend once who tried that. I locked him out."
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Post by Will Shakespeare on May 11, 2007 15:54:35 GMT -5
*Will started the pair of them towards the door.*
"It might be for the best if you didn't mention that either."
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Post by Richard on May 11, 2007 15:55:16 GMT -5
"What? I said I locked him out..."
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Post by Will Shakespeare on May 11, 2007 15:57:27 GMT -5
*Will rolled his eyes as he pulled Richard to the door.*
"I know. But just...when you're with a girl...only talk about that girl. Not another girl, not another boy, not yourself, and especially not your brother, sister, mother, father or priest."
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Post by Richard on May 11, 2007 16:22:57 GMT -5
At that moment, without warning... Richard had a flashback.
That night at the tavern, Richard spent most of the evening in the corner by himself with his nose in a heavy, hand-illuminated book, occasionally looking up to see Rob or Francis carousing with some girls who seemed to be all decolletage.
He sniffed a little derisively and went back to reading.
"Dickon!" Francis called.
Richard looked up, squinting slightly. "Er?"
Francis came over, looking a little urgent.
"Wass the matter with you, man?" "I'm reading," Richard said stiffly.
Francis looked at Richard as though he were mad.
"You're READING? We're in this tavern, surrounded by gorgeous women, and you're READING?" "There's nothing wrong with a little self-improvement-" "What ARE you reading?"
Francis leaned over and saw the paintings inside.
"Oh, my God. You are NOT reading a fantasy story when you could be getting a doxy to your bed!" "Fat luck I'd have with that," said Richard, gesturing vaguely at himself- a slight, rather short, slightly crippled young man of 17 with black hair going in every conceivable direction and rather acute acne. "You're the King's brother, Dickon, come on!" "But I'm not the King."
Francis rolled his eyes and looked at a rather plump doxy in the corner who appeared to be some years older than the others.
"How about her? She looks lonely."
Richard looked up and frowned. "What!?- Ugh, no!"
Francis leaned in to whisper in Richard's ear, "Go ask her if she'd like a taste of your sword." "You mean kill her if she doesn't-" "No, no, no. Your SWORD."
Richard's eyes slowly travelled down to the place between his own legs. "Sword- OH! Sword! Right!"
He looked at Francis. "Should I?" "There's no harm in it, is there?"
Richard took a deep breath and started walking toward the woman by the fire. "Excuse me..."
She looked up and smiled, revealing some truly hideous teeth. Richard cleared his throat nervously.
"Er, would you like a taste of my sword?"
The woman stared at him.
"Not if it's as puny as the rest of you."
Richard winced.
"I- I'll have you know I'm the King's brother-"
She stared at him again, saw his signet ring and suddenly crowed, "YOU'RE the Duke of Gloucester, ain't you!"
The rest of the tavern looked up at them.
"Yes, and as you may know-" Richard began. "You're the weird one! The crippled one! Good Lord, how'd your parents push YOU out?" "In the usual way-" "My God!" the woman exclaimed. "To think that YOU came from the same blood as Our Liege King Edward! Ha! I imagine pigs are flying in Dorset these days!" "Madame, if you-" "You shrivelled little wretch!"
She kept looking at him and laughing until he went to sit down again with his book.
It was a long time before the talking resumed.
"...You're right," Richard muttered. "Unnecessary comparisons, like."
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Post by Jake Quinn on May 11, 2007 16:35:36 GMT -5
((He and Snape would get along, wouldn't they?))
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Post by Will Shakespeare on May 11, 2007 16:39:30 GMT -5
*Will noticed that Richard was obviously having a sobering moment. He almost felt bad about it. Almost. He hoisted Richard up a bit further on his shoulder.*
"Oh come on. You'll do fine. And if not...we can always just watch."
*He gave a grin and pulled both of them out the door.*
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Post by Richard on May 11, 2007 18:36:29 GMT -5
((The sad thing is, by all accounts that WAS Richard's adolescence. The difference between him and Snape, of course, is the fact that Richard actually had friends he could hang out with when they weren't picking up girls.
The REALLY sad thing is, that was also MY adolescence. Sort of. Let's just say that I really did spend a lot of my free time at school reading under a tree and having other kids taunt me. Ah, the magic of high school.))
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