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Post by Rochester on Sept 10, 2007 17:48:01 GMT -5
*Rochester's brow furrowed as he lowered his arms.*
"Shadi...what is it? You know that I am always happy for your company. I would not offer to stay if I found the thought unappealing."
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Post by Shadi on Sept 10, 2007 21:00:04 GMT -5
"But you will, when you know..."
*Shadi blinked.*
"Did I just... say that out loud?"
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Post by Rochester on Sept 10, 2007 21:09:56 GMT -5
*The crease in Rochester's brow deepened.*
"Shadi...how can you say such a thing? You know that I love..."
*His shut his mouth instinctively at the word. It was forbidden to think such things, much less utter them. He started again, his voice softer.*
"What could possibly be so bad?"
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Post by Shadi on Sept 10, 2007 22:02:06 GMT -5
*Her green eyes grew large and liquid at the "l-word," but she didn't mention it.
It only made her feel worse, even if he didn't mean it.*
"I... Oh Rochester, I've been so awful!"
*She threw herself into his arms and buried her face in his sleeve, so she wouldn't have to look at him.*
"I had... I let... You see, I'm not... a virgin."
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Post by Rochester on Sept 10, 2007 22:07:38 GMT -5
*Rochester caught her instinctively in his arms, holding her as best as he could. It took him several moments to begin to comprehend what she had said. His eyes darkened in confusion and he pulled her back gently so he could try to meet her eyes. His voice was timid.*
"What? I'm sorry...what did you say?"
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Post by Shadi on Sept 11, 2007 9:00:41 GMT -5
*Shadi's eyes slid away from his.*
"I... Father's friend, Erik, came over one night and found me, and we... did it."
*She braced herself, she knew not what against.*
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Post by Rochester on Sept 11, 2007 9:13:30 GMT -5
*Rochester continued to stare. His mind just wasn't ready for that. Anything but that. His sweet flower...his sweet Shadi... He finally tore his gaze from her, prepositioning it on his lap instead, as if there were answers there for some reason.*
"But...I...how..."
*His eyes lifted to hers again, pain sinking into his brow, the word a faint breath.*
"Why?"
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Post by Shadi on Sept 11, 2007 9:26:42 GMT -5
((funny typo: "prepositioning it on his lap instead"))
*She couldn't meet his eyes, and she slid away from him to huddle against the headboard.*
"I don't know!" *she exclaimed.* "I was coming home from the party, and he found me, and it just happened! I don't even remember how. He... he was so angry! And it was over so fast, and I don't know why I did it and I knew you'd hate me and I felt so confused!"
*Her voice had rising as she spoke, into a kind of panic.*
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Post by Rochester on Sept 11, 2007 9:34:40 GMT -5
((Um...oops.))
*Rochester's brain was still trying to catch up. Not like that. Her first wasn't supposed to be like that. It was supposed to be tender. And with him. He felt sick. But she seemed so upset, it tugged at his heart. Still dazed, he tried to speak, unable to meet her eyes.*
"I...uh...Shadi...I can't hate you...just...I...I'm sorry."
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Post by Shadi on Sept 11, 2007 10:16:02 GMT -5
"No..."* She shook her head, eyes squeezed shut.*
"You have to hate me! I didn't wait... I didn't let you... I was a bad friend and a bad girl and I hurt you, the nicest man I've ever met, and I don't even know why!"
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Post by Rochester on Sept 11, 2007 19:40:55 GMT -5
"No...no..."
*Rochester touched her hands hesitantly, still unsure of his own feelings on the matter. And her hysterics weren't helping.*
"Shh...darling, I don't hate you. I promise. I just...I don't...I should go. Let both of us get some rest. I think if I stay we might say something we'll both regret."
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Post by Shadi on Sept 11, 2007 21:32:43 GMT -5
*She gripped his hands with the strength of a person on the edge of a cliff. She wanted to tell him he couldn't go, that she couldn't stay, that there was no way she was going to sleep again tonight. But his words stopped her. They meant... that he was thinking something too awful to say.
If he didn't hate her now, he certainly would in the morning. Her grip loosened.*
"Of course," *she said automatically.* "Yes. You should sleep. You..."
You should have been the first.
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Post by Rochester on Sept 11, 2007 21:39:24 GMT -5
((Aww...*hugs Shadi*))
I won't sleep. Not for a long time.
*Rochester forced a soft smile. He wanted to lean in a kiss her forehead. Just a chaste kiss...but then again he wanted to take her into his arms and bury himself in her embrace and blot out any thought of another man. But he couldn't. All he could manage was to stroke her cheek gently.*
"You'll see. Everything will be better in the morning."
I'm so sorry...I should have been first.
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Post by Shadi on Sept 11, 2007 21:42:12 GMT -5
((O NOES, OUR MIND POWERZ ARE FAULTY))
*Shadi nodded, but she didn't believe him one bit. Things wouldn't be better at all.*
"Right."
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Post by Rochester on Sept 11, 2007 21:58:09 GMT -5
*Rochester finally managed his kiss, soft on her forehead.*
"Try not to worry too much. It's not worth the stress. I..."
love you too much to see you in such pain.
*He pressed his lips tightly and caressed her cheek once more.*
"You are a beautiful woman, Shadi. Get some rest."
I would never think it...but if I could love...it would be you.
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