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Post by Ed Wood on Jan 11, 2010 3:45:55 GMT -5
Ed sat waiting eagerly at the cafe that the producer assistant had informed him to be at. He drank down his coffee, wishing very eagerly that they had picked a bar instead.
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Les Grossman
- Masterful Virgin -
Yeah. But seriously, a nutless monkey could do your job. %\0\%
Posts: 35
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Post by Les Grossman on Jan 11, 2010 3:56:07 GMT -5
Les Grossman walked into the cafe that he had chosen at random from a visitors guide about Paris' cafes and restaurants and didn't even bother looking around. Instead he turned to his Limo driver/bodyguard/assistant and said, "You know what this fuck looks like?" The... guy who shall now be known as butler nodded. "He here?" Butler nodded again and pointed out Ed Wood from the other patrons. Les nodded and walked towards him, stopping a waitress who was walking by and ordering a Diet Coke to be brought to that table. Then he sat down opposite of the director and folded his hands together, "Your Ed Wood." It wasn't a question ( )
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Post by Ed Wood on Jan 11, 2010 4:06:48 GMT -5
Ed who jumped when Les sat down smiled "Yes, that's right Edward D W-"
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Kirk Lazarus
- Ingenious Pilot -
Let's make lemonade. %\0\%
Posts: 153
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Post by Kirk Lazarus on Jan 11, 2010 4:10:10 GMT -5
Kirk who had followed Les in to the cafe, sat at the table and proceeded to light another cigarette.
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Les Grossman
- Masterful Virgin -
Yeah. But seriously, a nutless monkey could do your job. %\0\%
Posts: 35
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Post by Les Grossman on Jan 11, 2010 4:17:30 GMT -5
"--Wood Jr, yeah you told me over the phone, now shut it." Les accepted his drink without looking up and instead pushed in his glasses and took a drink, "I'm Les Grossman. For the time that this movie is in production you will think of me as your master, and for the rest of your life you will think of me as a fucking god. Everything, and I mean everything, is reported in to me."
Les took another drink, "And this guy is the guy who's going to play the main character."
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Kirk Lazarus
- Ingenious Pilot -
Let's make lemonade. %\0\%
Posts: 153
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Post by Kirk Lazarus on Jan 11, 2010 4:23:20 GMT -5
Kirk didn't turn his head from smiling at the waitress who blushed and took a drag from his cigarette.
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Post by Ed Wood on Jan 11, 2010 4:34:28 GMT -5
Ed sat back, he wasn't about to get upset, he heard about Les Grossman, he was the one who approached Ed about the movie, so it wasn't like it was his movie.
But it was his movie!
"I, er of course Mr. Grossman" he replied in that high pitch voice he tried to hide when upset, before he could say another thing while Les was drinking, Les introduced Kirk.
"Wow Kirk Lazarus, I'm-I'm honored! I've never worked with such a star, well, other than Bella Lugosi of course."
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Les Grossman
- Masterful Virgin -
Yeah. But seriously, a nutless monkey could do your job. %\0\%
Posts: 35
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Post by Les Grossman on Jan 11, 2010 4:40:54 GMT -5
"Now onto business," Les re-crossed his fingers, "This'll re-assure you a bit: I'm not going to be breathing down your neck every step of the way. I'll be hearing about every step you take, but that's a different point.
"You are literally the only director we could get for this movie, so don't be flattered. I don't know who you are and as soon as I leave this meeting I'm probably going to forget about you. Instead I merely want to STRONGLY suggest that you take every advice that Lazarus decides to give you. He's won just enough awards for me to remember that he knows what the fuck he's doing."
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Post by Ed Wood on Jan 11, 2010 4:46:12 GMT -5
"Of course, of course!" Ed replied, suddenly very star struck and fully coming in to the realization that he was in a meeting with the biggest two names in hollywood.
And he was going to direct for them.
He of course totally ignored what Les said about him being the only director around, because Ed hears what Ed wants to hear.
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Les Grossman
- Masterful Virgin -
Yeah. But seriously, a nutless monkey could do your job. %\0\%
Posts: 35
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Post by Les Grossman on Jan 11, 2010 4:53:18 GMT -5
"Allright," Les said, satisfied, "As long as you accept your position, we can move on."
Of course Ed Wood probably didn't understand his position very well. Because in Les Grossman's book there is a very short list on how he defines people, the bottom of the list being 'Shit-faced sorry toe kissers' (i.e. Ed Wood) and the top of the list being 'Makes me money' (i.e. Kirk Lazarus).
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Post by Ed Wood on Jan 11, 2010 4:56:09 GMT -5
"Now, Mr. Grossman, I know I haven't got a script from you yet, so, in case there wasn't one finished, I took it upon myself to write my own!" He pushed a typed up document in front of him and smiled.
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Kirk Lazarus
- Ingenious Pilot -
Let's make lemonade. %\0\%
Posts: 153
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Post by Kirk Lazarus on Jan 11, 2010 4:57:34 GMT -5
Kirk looked down at the obviously typewriter written script and blinked "You're kidding."
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Les Grossman
- Masterful Virgin -
Yeah. But seriously, a nutless monkey could do your job. %\0\%
Posts: 35
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Post by Les Grossman on Jan 11, 2010 5:07:28 GMT -5
Les took look at the front of the script and stared. He stared hard, and then looked up at Ed, "...Look, you obviously have no idea what the fuck you're doing so I'm going to say this with as much compassion as I can.
"I am never going to read this peace of badly constructed shit-wipe, and if I send this to the sorry nameless fuck (and I mean nameless in the sense that I have no idea who he is) that we actually hired to write the script, and he sends it back saying its as much crap as I expect its going to be, then I'm going to hire yet another guy with huge biceps, a bald head, and a tightly stretched muscle shirt to shove this waste of natural fucking resources and ink up your ass so far that your going to be spitting out shredded bits of paper for the next decade."
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Kirk Lazarus
- Ingenious Pilot -
Let's make lemonade. %\0\%
Posts: 153
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Post by Kirk Lazarus on Jan 11, 2010 5:14:34 GMT -5
Kirk, who had predicted Les's response turned to Ed and touched his shoulder gently, shaking his head.
"You are the director, not the screen writer Edward, please understand that it is not an attack on your character, but an understandable response to an employee stepping out of line. You will have enough creative liberty with the picture, that you wouldn't have needed to even have wasted your time on a script, no matter the caliber of it's contents."
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Les Grossman
- Masterful Virgin -
Yeah. But seriously, a nutless monkey could do your job. %\0\%
Posts: 35
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Post by Les Grossman on Jan 11, 2010 5:19:40 GMT -5
Les nodded, though in all actuality he really was just calling the director an idiot. He turned to Kirk, "Nice, very Veidt like. I can actually hear the hint of a suppressed accent in there."
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